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Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Dane Cook Experience

I took in Dane Cook's show at GM Place on Thursday. The review is online already, although it'll be in next week's print edition of the Georgia Straight.

It wasn't my first time experiencing the Great Dane. I'd seen him twice before, both in club settings. This was my first time, though, watching comedy in a hockey arena. I was sure it would be horrible, but it wasn't. Granted, I had fairly good seats, but still, with the big screen and the sound system I'm confident any seat would be decent. Then again, the crowd did the wave, so that kind of nullifies any positive.

I wrote in the review that I liked the first opener the best, Al Del Bene. Of course, he was only out for ten minutes so who knows? He talked about his 4.5-month pregnant wife with their first child and how they're still deciding whether to terminate or not. His idea was to terminate the pregnancy on Good Friday then on Easter see what happens. He also dissected Catholic mass, saying how they had a tight 30 minutes but needed to pad it out to 60 if they wanted to get any donations, so they added snacks in the middle, a meet-n-greet and stretched out 'hallelujah'.

Robert Kelly, the second opener, was hands-down the oldest-looking 38-year-old I've ever seen. He was all attitude, much like the night's closer. He talked about farting in a baby's face and how it's the funniest thing in the world. Being rather literal, I was thinking it wouldn't make a bit of difference because from my experience babies don't gain a sense of smell (or put smell into context) until they're almost 2.

Then it was time for the Su-Fi montage on the big screen. The crowd stood in anticipation. Dane Cook runs to the stage amid hundreds of cameras flashing and starts his prowling.

I hate to pile on, I really do. The first time I saw Cook, I really liked him. It was about ten years ago. The second time I saw him, at Yuk Yuk's two years ago, I thought he was decent. I don't really remember what he talked about, but he was fine. The haters are over-reacting, for sure. He's not bad for comedy. There's room for everyone. It's not a zero-sum game. However, if Thursday night is an indication of the direction he's taking, I'm jumping on the pile.

He talked about dropping his cell phone in his own piss. The fact that you know that much tells you everything you need to know about the bit. Oh, and a drop got in his eye.

I always find it fascinating when a superstar comic makes fun of a celebrity just because I figure they must come across each other on occasion. He talked about the video of Britney Spear's tampon string dangling out during a performance. He wasn't shocked by the video; he was shocked that her vagina could hold anything in it anymore.

This was early in the show and from that point the material turned dark. Needlessly dark. Dark for the sake of dark. Dark and filthy. I have no problem with filth, but you'd kinda like for there to be a point or a great punchline. Instead we got what-if scenarios of a daycare worker giving a weeping boy a blowjob while his friend watches and gets an erection, we find out exactly how he likes to masturbate (three pillows, towel over chest), got long descriptions of video clips he saw on YouPorn.com, heard about a raw dog experience (the titular ISolated INcident – I have no idea what the capitals are all about), and the disturbing sex role-playing game I wrote about in the review. Again, without any big payoffs. Sure, he speaks humorously with a comedic rhythm, but that's about it.

Then, after the encore, he said, "Su-Fi everybody!" and was off into the night. I don't get that. Was he giving us the super finger? No, I think it's supposed to be a positive thing.

So not a pleasurable experience for me, although walking out I heard people saying it was hilarious. So there you go.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dane Cook, Dane Cook... He was on Saturday Night Live or something right? His movies are pretty lame but I have a friend who says his stand-up is good. Wait is it stand up or stand-up? I'm too lazy to check. Let's say his act. Anyway I'm guessing my friend refers to the older stuff.