Eddie Izzard interview

Mr. Eddie Izzard is playing his second of two nights in town tonight. And I won't be seeing him. But that's okay because I've seen him lots over the years. And interviewed him lots over the years. Three times, to be exact, which counts as lots in my book. Never met the man, though. But he seems totally cool and chill over the phone. Here, see for yourself. Our conversation from a couple weeks ago. We talk about his Canadian roots (of a sort), playing arenas, and performing in different languages, among other things:

Eddie Izzard

Nov. 14, 2013

"It’s also a pissing contest between us and rock’n’roll. I mean, why should rock’n’roll be able to play not only arenas but stadiums whenever they want to and we have to ask permission if we’re allowed to play arenas? It’s all kind of odd." – Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard: Hello?

Guy MacPherson: Hello, Mr. Izzard.

EI: Hi, how are you?

GM: Good. Finally we connect.

EI: Yes.

GM: I’ve interviewed you a couple of times. I hear your name pronounced ‘IZ-ARD’ and ‘IZ-erd’. I’ve always said ‘IZ-erd.’ Which is correct?

EI: Most people in North America find it easier to say ‘IZ-erd’ but my father, when he picks up the phone, says, ‘IZ-ARD speaking.’ That’s exactly what he says. Not ‘Iz-ARD’ because a lot of people in North America want to hit the second syllable really hard, but ‘IZ-ARD’ hitting the first syllable. But I don’t really give a monkey’s between that one and ‘IZ-erd.’

GM: Okay. Got it. I’ve talked to you twice before and this is the first time I’ve learned, reading the notes, that you spent time as a teen in Canada. Why didn’t you ever mention that to me before?

EI: I’ve mentioned it to everyone I could. I thought it was getting a bit long in the tooth. It’s not like every time I talk to someone I’ve got to mention this. It revolves around I almost died in Lake Ontario. A woman called Alex – she was Alex Christmas back then and she now lives in New Brunswick. I was hoping she was going to come and see me when I was in Halifax, but I realized it was quite a long way away. But anyway, yes, they’re coming to the gig on Friday night. Ralph and Sally and Val Christmas. They have this crazy family. But yeah, two months when I was nine I was a Canadian kid. And that was long enough that by the end of it to feel like you’re Canadian. I mean, I was playing baseball and doing paper rounds, and swimming in the loch and fishing. The only time I’ve ever done fishing in my entire life and I got really into it. It sort of started from nowhere and stopped after two months.

GM: What brought you over?

EI: Two of my dad’s school friends emigrated to Ontario; one to Toronto, and Val and John Christmas had moved to Cambleford, just north of Belleville. They had six kids and they were up for taking on two more. Dad was working for BP and had to be in Montreal for a month. So it was a big summer holiday. He worked out this thing that he would go to Montreal for a month and we would live with the family for a month, just on our own with them, and then he’d turn up and it would be him and us with the entire family for the second month. It was just a wonderful, wonderful time.

GM: Who knew?! You’re one of us!

EI: Yes, I have this strong link to Canada. Normally British people get known in Canada quite well and they struggle to get known in America. And I’m playing Madison Square Gardens and the Hollywood Bowl in America and I’m still having to hack my way up the mountain in Canada. So it’s slightly back to front. But it’s good. I’m touring and I’m playing four nights at Massey Hall in Toronto. It’s getting there. I’d like to play everywhere so people go, ‘Yeah, that English guy. Yeah, we know him.’

GM: I find that surprising, because we’ve always embraced British culture. I think we watched Monty Python before the Americans fully embraced it. But you’re playing big theatres here, let’s not kid ourselves.

EI: I know what the difference is. It’s that Monty Python was on television so people could get it, they could watch it, and it would come around the next week and they’d pick it up. And in America my real breakthrough was when HBO endlessly played Dressed to Kill to death. And it got two Emmys and that kind of stuff. That sort of kicked me through it, that one thing. And I’ve never really pushed it on television again. I didn’t want to because I wanted to do drama roles, like I’m now doing Hannibal Lecter, also filming in Canada, here in Toronto. The position I’ve got where I can do a dramatic role and then go and do a surreal comedy tour, one right next to the other, is because I haven’t pushed the comedy on television. I never had the big TV series. So in Canada, that’s my problem. It’s like an advantage and a disadvantage at the same time.

GM: You’re playing Hannibal Lecter?

EI: No, I’m in the TV series playing Dr. Gideon. Dr. Abel Gideon, who is the pretender to the throne of Hannibal Lecter.

GM: I see. And it’s a TV series for who?

EI: It’s NBC. It’s playing on a Canadian channel at the moment. It’s Mads Mikkelsen, Hugh Dancy and Laurence Fishburne and a bunch of really good people.

GM: And it’s already on, you say?

EI: Yeah, it’s in its second season. We’re filming the second season now. I just filmed another two episodes of season two.

GM: Wow, I should watch more TV.

EI: Yes. It’s dark and twisted. It’s just called Hannibal.

GM: You mentioned Madison Square Gardens and the Hollywood Bowl. Those are huge. I’ve seen a couple shows in arenas: I saw Dane Cook and Russell Peters. You’re on that level now where you can play those kinds of venues. Does it just become a big pissing contest among comedians as to who can play the biggest venue?

EI: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. I mean, it’s got ego in there. But it’s also a pissing contest between us and rock’n’roll. I mean, why should rock’n’roll be able to play not only arenas but stadiums whenever they want to and we have to ask permission if we’re allowed to play arenas? It’s all kind of odd. And if you look at it, Russell Peters plays arenas, Dane Cook does – I’m not sure if he’s done a recent arena tour – I do. There’s about ten comedians in Britain doing it but there’s not many more in America doing it. There’s quite a number that could but they choose not to. And getting good at doing arenas, you have to do a whole bunch of them so that you can really have a sense of what the trick is to play it: how to play it so that you’re filling that space as opposed to just looking like you’re swimming around in it. I like playing really small venues. Like, after this tour, which is in theatres, I’m going to go to Germany and do standup in German in a 100-200 seater.

GM: In German?

EI: In German.

GM: I guess every type of venue has its pluses and minuses.

EI: Yup, that is true. The bigger venues you do have to arrive and have a presence. Smaller venues are like a speedboat and bigger venues are like an ocean liner. You have to sort of wait for the laughs; your timing has to be slightly different. But you can get in a speedboat and then get out of that and get into an ocean liner and do that. You can do both. I love the ability to do both. Because I don’t have a television series. Some people go, ‘Who is this guy? Is that toilet cleaner, Eddie Izzard? I don’t know what that does.’ But if you say I’m doing Madison Square Garden and Hollywood Bowl, they go, ‘Oh!’

GM: ‘He must be somebody.’

EI: That’s a nice little counter to put out because I’m not doing X Factor, Y Factor, this thing on telly, that reality show. I have to really bat above my weight and playing arenas is kind of handy for that.

GM: You mentioned rock bands. They have this wall of sound. You’re just one voice and one person.

EI: Yes, they do have the wall of sound. But really good sound people and the screen take everything to the back. At Hollywood Bowl, the best place to watch is from the back. It actually looks amazing from the back. I use regression of technology. If you’ve been to any rock concerts in arenas and especially stadiums, they do a lot of editing and vision mixing. They cut to the guitar, they’ll cut to Keith Richards, they’ll cut to this and cut to that. In the end, you might be essentially watching television in a big field. And what I do I call regression of technology: We take two cameras, one which is essentially a backup for the first one. So in essence it’s just the one camera and it shoots a full shot that is placed in the centre of the big vertical screen. So there’s a small me and a big version of me standing behind, just like in the iconic Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane shot. And on either side there are two half-versions of me. And the camera just stays with you and pans with you. So you choose what you’re editing. It never zooms in, it never zooms out. It doesn’t get wide, it doesn’t cut to the people in the audience or anything. It just shoots it. So if you’re at the back or the front, you see the same gig. And that way, you’re the editor.

GM: I see. But you don’t have that on this tour because it’s theatres.

EI: No, people don’t need to worry about that. In the end, I’d like to play arenas all around the world but I have to keep building it up in different countries where I’m known. So like in Germany, I’m hardly known, whereas in Canada I’m quite well known and in America I’m very well known, in Britain I’m well known, and Scandinavia I’m fairly well known. So it’s all different countries at different levels. So I just have to keep building it up.

GM: When a lot of British comics visit other countries, it’s usually to ex-pat audiences. But you’re going to Germany and performing in German so it’s not going to be for the ex-pats.

EI: No, I refuse to play ex-pats. I don’t mind if ex-pats come but it’s got to have a majority indigenous people. So I’m going to be playing Shanghai next year and Tokyo, Japan, Kathmandu, India… I don’t mind if some Brits or English speakers come along, like Americans or Canadians or Irish or Australians, but as long as the majority are locals, then that’s working. I mean, English is this lingua franca. It’s no longer our language that we own; it’s the language that we sort of started off with and then it’s been given to the world as the gift of the most simple communication that we can work out on its basic level. That’s great. It’s for everyone to play with and everyone to do business with and hopefully to make friends with. I’m already touring France in French and I’m playing Montreal in French.

GM: When you’re playing, say Japan or Shanghai, that it is a lot of locals in attendance? How can you control that when when you’re not performing in Mandarin or Japanese?

EI: It’s a little difficult up front. I played Russia – St. Petersburg – and that was about 100% Russians. We talk to the guys and say, ‘How much English is spoken out there?’ Because we want to be there. And they’d already had an Irish comedian, Dylan Moran, who’d played out there. So they already knew that the Russians were going to show up. So there were about a thousand people in St. Petersburg, 1500 in Moscow. So in Shanghai, what we do is we look for promoters, we see what’s going on on the ground. Like I know in Tokyo they’ve already got a lot of Japanese standups. And I was talking to a Japanese woman who was doing my nails yesterday, so she was, as I am a transvestite and I get my nails done. I said, ‘Do the kids speak English in Tokyo?’ I just ask people who I meet. I said, ‘What about in Tokyo University?’ ‘Oh, yes, they speak more English there.’ So that’s the first place you head; you head to the university. Or you find a promoter who says, ‘Yeah, I’m already doing that. And we estimate you can do this and you can do that.’ So we take their advice and then we go and do a look-see. Like, I was in Dubai and I went and saw a friend who was playing there, Al Murray, a British comedian, and it was 100% Brits there. 100%. And I thought I don’t want to do Dubai under that. Because I was born in Yemen. I wish to learn Arabic and play Cairo and then play Lebanon and then build it up from there: Morocco – Marrakesh – would be a good place to play. And if I learned the Cairo Egyptian Arabic, that’s the best one to learn because apparently they use it in the films. So I’m constantly meeting people, I bump into them in the street and I say, ‘What’s the situation? Can I do it in English? Will the locals come, if I go to the university, does that work?’ Because any university, the kids are just going to be grabbing English by the handful. They’re going to be ambitious – they wouldn’t have got to university if they weren’t ambitious. And they’re going to realize that English is the first language to learn as a backup and it can widen their horizons. So it’s just logic. You put it in there. The big thing is I know that comedy is international and not national. That’s my big theory. And I think I’ve proved this correct. The mainstream Canadian comedy will talk about Rob Ford, will talk about the mayors of Montreal and what’s going on politically and with the sports stars; the mainstream British guy would do the equivalent, and the American would do the equivalent. But the alternatives like us will talk about dinosaurs and God and squirrels with guns and helicopters that can play banjo or whatever it is. And you go to Russia and they go, ‘Yeah, this is stupid. Yeah, we understand it. We’ve got dinosaurs.’

GM: You talk about Star Wars but that’s universal now. But you’re also talking about Greek mythology and chaos theory. You just need to be a human to understand it. I also like that you don’t talk down to people who might not even know what chaos theory is or anything about Greek mythology. Obviously you make it palatable. Some comics have strong interests in some topics but think they can’t do it on stage because no one would get it. But you make it so they get it, or can at least enjoy it.

EI: Well, I assume the intelligence of the audience. And there was a logical self-policing of the public. And Python smashed the doors open around the world. And I’ve checked around the world. As I was playing Eastern Europe, I said, ‘You guys have Python?’ And they’d say, ‘Yay!’ And I was phoning Michael Palin and Terry Jones and saying, ‘They’re screaming for you guys.’ I mean, I’m in Zagreb, I’m in Belgrade. That’s it: Assume the intelligence of the audience and the bright ones, or anyone who’s autodidactic or been to university or whatever, and they like this kind of stuff and they’re progressive in politics, they will dig it. And they’ll say, ‘Freddy, you gotta come. Siobhan, you’ll love this.’ And they drag others to it. And that’s how it works. Wheras right wing extremists are gonna go, ‘That guy’s a liberal and he likes people; we like killing people. Let’s not go to that show. Let’s go to the I Want To Kill People show.’

GM: And the politics you’re talking about are not at a local or national level; it’s more sort of issues relating to any human.

EI: Yeah, exactly. Because in the end, we were 30,000 people, 10,000 people two-hundred thousand years ago. And now we’re seven billion. We’re all the bloody same. And just right wing press separates us out into separate things. But we’re all the bloody same.

GM: Did I read you wanted to be mayor?

EI: Yup. Not like the Toronto mayor. More in a different style.

GM: You’d get in your own trouble, though.

EI: (laughs) Well, they’ll say, ‘Aren’t you a transvestite?’ and I’ll go, ‘Yes’ and they’ll go, ‘Oh, that’s fine.’

GM: Yeah, as long as you own it, I guess.

EI: Well, that’s it but I think that’s what Rob Ford is trying to do in retrospect, saying, ‘Yeah, I smoke crack. And I’ll be in work tomorrow.’ And you go, ‘Well, hang on, no, you gotta do something else.’ So yeah, I’ll tell them I’m a transvestite and what else? There’s nothing else, really, to come out after that. I like running marathons and I’ll paint my nails and I can do things out of the box, I’m ambitious and I want everyone else to be ambitious if they want to and I’m a radical centrist. And they’ve already done polling on it, which is a great thing. The Evening-Standard in Britain put me into a poll with other Labour candidates and I came out pretty good.

GM: Is it going to happen?

EI: Yeah, I’m running in 2020. I’ve already stated this. For Member of Parliament or Mayor of London in 2020. But there’s an election in 2016 for the mayor and I’ve been put into that poll and I’d do pretty good if I run in 2016. And there’s a general election in 2015. So I’ll be an activist up to that point then I’ll go for election.

GM: I know you’re involved with Unicef. You’re a funny guy and you think absurdly and at times you want to be serious. Does that ever cause confusion among people?

EI: I think as soon as I told everyone I was a transvestite, that’s so bloody serious. Some people think British men always want to throw on a dress, which isn’t very true. Transgendered people get beaten up as in any other country. But we do have this pantomime thing, that I think in Canada you have as well. But as soon as I started telling people I was a transvestite, it was so serious, it was so crossing the line. I mean, Boy George didn’t say he was gay for ages.  But I was saying straight off the bat I’m a transvestite and I don’t look terribly girly, either, so it’s a bit of a struggle. So they could realize it was all kinda serious. And it wasn’t part of the comedy, either. I wasn’t doing transvestite comedy; I was just doing surreal comedy and I happened to be wearing a dress or whatever. So that helped me get a serious platform. And then I started talking about European politics, which is the hardest thing to talk about in the United Kingdom. It’s like an American going up and saying socialism is an interesting thing to have a look at. And I don’t know what the equivalent is in Canada. I suppose it’s like the French part separating or something weird. It’s such a difficult touchstone. So transvestite and then I started talking about Europe and that was a lot of seriousness in there. And I’ve been campaigning in elections since 2008 quite actively. So it’s only four different election cycles I’ve been through. So everyone knows I’m serious and that’s okay. They’ve allowed me to do that, along with running marathons. I’ve always stuck to my guns. I haven’t gone, ‘Hey, I’m into this! No, I’m actually into cheese now! No, free everything for everyone!’ And I don’t say I hate politicians; I think we’ve got to have politicians. There’s a lot of politicians trying to do some good stuff. So I’m trying to put a practical thing on it and see what I can practically do to try and help.

GM: Russell Brand will say don’t vote.

EI: I know Russell’s into that. And that’s cool for Russell to do that. And it’s good for him to have his say. I’m saying do vote. I’m trying to be practical on the thing. I don’t feel we get anywhere by everyone not voting. And I don’t feel all politicians are all trying to do terrible. I don’t think all businessmen are trying to do terrible things. So I’m trying to encourage ethical business and ethical politics. And try not to smoke crack.

GM: Good luck with that.

EI: Yeah, I know. He seems to be a barrel of laughs. Anyway.

GM: Once you get involved in politics, the crack is next.

EI: Yeah, I know. I was thinking to go into politics and I always had in my mind probably not a good idea to smoke crack.

GM: On your Twitter account, you say you think like an American. How does an American think?

EI: Well, if I analyze that down, what I was trying to say was I think like an economic migrant. I think America has a distillation of that. Canada could be the same. Australia could be the same. New Zealand… a number of countries. Well, maybe those three. But America really crystalized it in this, ‘Come, you can go for it. Anyone can go for it. Let’s go! Let’s build it! Let’s think out of the box.’ And that’s what I mean by it. But I also wanted to associate myself with Democratic Americans, as opposed to Republican Americans or, I suppose, the Tea Party Americans. So I put it down. I was thinking I should change it to ‘like an economic migrant’, someone who wants to go build it. Because I’m touring in France now in French and that is so huge because it’s 200 years since the Battle of Waterloo and a thousand years since William the Conqueror. And I’m touring France! I just think it’s so beautiful. It’s politics with an open hand; you reach out with an open hand. And the French are going, ‘This is really groovy! This guy’s doing it in our language.’ And again, it’s self-policing, self-promoting because the cool people are saying, ‘Hey, you’ve got to come and see this English guy. He’s doing it in French. It’s not brilliant French but it’s pretty damn good and he’s making people laugh.’ And my video is available online for $5 or €5. I loved it. And German’s going to be great, too, because of all the history: Second World War, First World War, all that stuff. German’s are now doing it in English. French have now started doing it in English. The Russians are doing it in English. And the Italians as well.  It’s all changing and it’s all happening in the UK at the moment, these language jumps. It’s amazing. It’s stunning. I just think it’s wonderful and such a positive human thing. The Russians are doing it in English! And the French! Less so for the Germans to do it in English, but for the French to do it in English. It’s just going to be beautiful.

GM: Do you know Sugar Sammy?

EI: No, I don’t know.

GM: He’s a Canadian comic. He’s Indo-Canadian, born and raised in Montreal, so he speaks and performs in English, Punjabi and French.

EI: Yeah, I think I have heard of him, actually. And he does standup in three languages?

GM: For different audiences, yeah.

EI: That’s excellent. That’s really good. Some people are bilingual or trilingual, and that’s good to a certain extent, but it’s even better if people hack their way into a language and not be a natural speaker because then you can really feel the sweat and you can feel the journey they’ve taken.

GM: You perform just in those three languages or are there more?

EI: No. At the moment it’s just English, I’m pretty good at French now so I’m touring in that, German I’m just beginning. January and February will be the German ones. Then once I get German, I’ll do Spanish. Once I’ve got Spanish, I’ll do Russian. Once I’ve got Russian, I’ll do Arabic.

GM: I read your biographical chapters on your website. Is this going to be a book?

EI: No, I think that was from a book. There was a touring book when I toured America big time in 1998, so I think that’s from 1998. So there is one book out, which is supposed to be a tour book and I think the book company turned it into an autobiography and I said, ‘No, no, that wasn’t how I planned it.’ And I talked to this really good journalist but then he took himself out of it and then it became like this autobiography. So it was a little bit weird but anyway that’s what that is. A real autobiography will come at the end of my days.

GM: You don’t know when that’s going to be, though.

EI: I know, but I’m going to do a US Grant at the end of it. I’ll do it right at the end.

GM: I read in there you have an older brother. What did he do?

EI: He teaches me the languages. He’s going to be there with me in Germany. He’s my tutor in French and German and Spanish, as he speaks those three. And then I’m going to drag him into Russian. We’re going to learn Russian together. And then we’re both, as we were both born in Yemen, we will learn Arabic in Cairo. It’s a beautiful journey to do with your brother.

GM: What did he do for work?

EI: Languages is his thing. A translator.

GM: So your family always got a kick out of watching you perform through the years and get famous?

EI: Not hugely. I mean, initially there was a distinct resistance. My dad was always kind of cool on it. My step-mother was less into it. And I was doing accounting and financial management so, ‘Do that, don’t do this. It’s crazy.’ And it wasn’t working, either. But once it started working, then everything’s been fine. And dad was always saying, ‘As long as you’re happy.’ And now my step-mother’s happy about it as well.

GM: You travel all over the world. Do you get to spend any quality time anywhere or is it all hotel rooms and onto the next place?

EI: It’s a little bit of hotel rooms and stuff, but we do try and do things in different towns and cities and look first at the history. I’m a big history buff so I do like looking into big chunks of history lying about the place. In Boston we were doing tours of Lexington and Concord. I was just saying to my promoter in America I’d like to play Gettysburg. He said, ‘I’ll look into it. I’ll find a venue.’ So that would be great. And we visited Shiloh when we were going down past Nashville. So I like looking around. The Eastern European countries are great to visit because there’s so much of that, hundreds of years of history.

GM: Not as much history in Vancouver. But you’ve got two nights here so you’ve got to get out at some point.

EI: Yes, I have to get in that speed boat and go up the river and visit those places that you can do. You’ve got speed boats.

GM: You did that in the ‘90s here, didn’t you?

EI: Yes, I know. I like doing it. It’s like the thing I do because I just can’t believe that you can say, ‘Yeah, I can drive a speed boat.’ ‘Okay, get in. Off you go.’ It just seems so weird. Because we have rowing boats in England and you have to say, ‘Can you row a rowing boat? Yes, I can. Alright.’ ‘Pedalo. Can you do a pedalo? Yeah, I can do that. Alright, you can go in that duck pond.’ Whereas in Vancouver you can say yes you can go in this huge river.

GM: It’s the ocean.

EI: Yeah, the one I went up was a river.

GM: Well don’t fall in like you did in Lake Ontario.

EI: No. Well, that was more just the rip tide pulling me back out. I was dragged out of the water. I screamed help. And initially I was thinking I can’t say help because of British embarrassment. It’s too embarrassing to say help. And then I was like, ‘Nope. Fucking help!’

GM: Yeah, it’s too hack to yell help.

EI: Now I think it’s funny. Not funny, but it was true. I was not in a good place and I was dragged out of the water.

GM: Did you keep in contact with that girl through the years?

EI: With the family. There was a gap and then I came back and started playing Canada and filming in Canada. And I’ve been in touch with them ever since. Me and my brother went back I think it was two years ago. We went back to the house up in Cambleford north of Belleville and we all hung out there. My brother brought his kids. So it was great. And they’re coming to the show on Friday.

Eddie Izzard interview

Eddie Izzard – April 13, 2010

"I just ran 43 marathons. You're not supposed to be able to do that at 47. I do think that we put our own restrictions on ourselves. So I've decided to be 100 years old and be the peak of everything. I think as soon as you start thinking you're slowing down, you start slowing down." – Eddie Izzard

Guy MacPherson: I spoke to you about ten years ago. You were in Australia at the time.

Eddie Izzard: Always good to be somewhere else. It looks like I'm busy, doesn't it?

GM: Where are you now?

EI: Toronto.

GM: And where do you live?

EI: I live on planet Earth.

GM: Oh, me, too!

EI: Well, I've decided, you know, because I was born in Yemen... I mean, the truth is I'm backwards and forwards between bases in London and Los Angeles. But if I'm touring Canada, then I'm in Canada; if I'm doing press I'm in Toronto; if I'm playing South Africa, then I'm there; if I'm filming in Berlin, then I'm there, and so...

GM: You live in the moment.

EI: Yeah, I live on this planet. You know, once we've got colonies on Mars people will say, "Which do you prefer?" I'll say, "Well, Earth. This is the one I live on."

GM: Yeah, I'm a big fan of Earth, too. When I spoke to you last, you hadn't yet played Asia. Have you now?

EI: Um, I don't think I have, really. Now, Asia would include Arabic countries, wouldn't it? India is open so India is probably going to be my first Asian place. I have now played South Africa. So the African continent is going. And Asia, yeah, I have yet to do. I'd eventually like to learn Arabic from the country where I was born and do gigs in Arabic. That would be great.

GM: How many languages do you speak?

EI: A bit of German and French. My French is conversational; it's not quite fluent but it's pretty good. I can talk about politics and economics and helicopters and stuff, but get words wrong. And my German is more like getting tickets for things and cars to airports and taxis and beers. And I mean to learn Russian as well. It's good to have things to do so I know which way I'm going.

GM: You and I are the same age. You don't find your brain slowing down a bit? Isn't it harder to learn new things?

EI: No, I don't, actually. That's an interesting point. Is the brain supposed to slow down? I thought the body was supposed to slow down.

GM: I think we're supposed to be at our peak mentally for learning things in our early 20s and from then on it takes longer.

EI: I just ran 43 marathons. You're not supposed to be able to do that at 47. I do think that we put our own restrictions on ourselves. So I've decided to be, let's say, 100 years old and be the peak of everything. I think as soon as you start thinking you're slowing down, you start slowing down. I think there's a psychological thing to it, people who feel they're old... There are little kids at school who are already old and fuddy-duddy. I just think you've got to be on an adventure. I saw a guy who's 80 doing the Hawaiian Iron Man. And that's the way to live. One life, live it. Keep planning things. When you're 90 you should think now I've got to do this and that and the other. If you keep forging your way upwards, then I think everything will stay alert.

GM: I think I recently heard of a man who was 92 or 94 who just got his PhD in something.

EI: Excellent. That's the way to do it. They say Alzheimer's comes and you've got to do crossword puzzles and keep your brain active because otherwise it starts going. And I think there is something psychological, psychosomatic about it. If you keep having plans and things to do then you will keep active. In the siege of Leningrad, I heard you had to go out and do things every day in the freezing cold. If you didn't go out and do things, if you got into bed and tried to deal with it – the cold and the freezing and the hunger – you'd die. People died. People who stopped doing things died. People kept going out and kept going to the libraries, the orchestra kept playing. They had to do that to keep the sparks going.

GM: You've performed in French, haven't you?

EI: Yup.

GM: How do you prepare for a show in a language you're not totally fluent in? It's obviously a different kind of preparation.

EI: The thing is, I initially tried translating the whole show. So I got someone to translate the whole show and I got this book back, this massive tome of stuff, and I thought, "I'm not gonna learn that. I'm just not gonna do it." So I thought that's no good. I worked out the best way was to take whatever language you have, you need to get your language to a certain level – at least conversational – and then you just go through the show and pick out the key words that you need. There'll be some certain key nouns and verbs that you'll need to get translated. I'm talking about 'cavemen' or talking about the weather and 'thunderstorms' because you just don't use some of those words. Get the key words out there and then string your own abilities in that language through those. If you just do it for one gig it's not going to work. You really need to sit down and do weeks and weeks. Last time I did a lot, which actually was ten years ago, which is really annoying I haven't taken it further – I have been planning to – I got good in two weeks. I really accelerated my ability in French. So I need to sit down for two months, a minimum of two months, and I think I could make a dent in Paris.

GM: Your Wikipedia page now describes you as an English stand-up comedian, actor and long-distance runner. So that's now how you're defined. It's funny; you started as a street performer so now you're just getting back to your roots.

EI: Yeah, I'm just not performing. I'm running around it. But it was a great adventure.

"I remember when I was a kid running and it was just a nightmare. But when you're running on an adventure, a big sort of Lord of the Rings without any hawks, you really get at one with the landscape, with the road, with the towns, with some people asking you what you're doing or waving to people that know what you're doing, I never got bored." – Eddie Izzard

GM: When you're out there running and you have all that time to yourself, do you come up with material? What's going through your head?

EI: No, it's interesting, people say this and then people say it's boring. I remember when I was a kid running and it was just a nightmare. But when you're running on an adventure, a big sort of Lord of the Rings without any hawks, you really get at one with the landscape, with the road, with the towns, with some people asking you what you're doing or waving to people that know what you're doing, I never got bored. And in fact, I really liked it when I was on my own. If you meet someone, that's great because they come running with you and you can talk with them and the miles do zip by. It takes your mind off things. But if not, if you got a good vista to look out at, if you got to a place where you'd look down over the countryside, I like that because of the thousands or millions of years the countryside's been developing. I ran past the place where the Battle of Naseby happened, which was this English civil war battle site. I was imagining Cromwell and roundheads clip-clopping up that street with the cavalry and cavaliers coming down the other way. I like history. I'm interested and fascinated and stuff so it all fed my imagination. It was like running through a documentary about the country that is mine, the United Kingdom.

GM: Was it filmed for documentary?

EI: It was. And it's raised 1.85 million pounds.

GM: So the documentary is out?

EI: Sorry, that documentary isn't. The Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story, the documentary before that which sort of explains my determined idiot kind of ways, that one is out and is available in Canada and America. That explains my determination.

GM: Did those thoughts of the battle make its way into your act?

EI: No. No, not really. I didn't run to get material.

GM: No, but I'm just wondering about the way your mind works. You're out there for so long and you might think of a funny thing or two and do a note-to-self kind of thing.

EI: You know it could at some point but no, there's nothing particularly about the run that has got into my material. I like talking about the world and how it fits together. I think at some point it will come up as a diagonal. It will feed into the thing as a diagonal, the fact of how I discovered how people were and what they were like and how they behaved and how people are all the same in a good way. That I think will come out of it. But I haven't noticed anything in particular that's jumped into the material.

GM: Were you reflective, looking at your life or was it more just looking at what was around you?

EI: No. More looking at the things around me. Sometimes looking back. I ran to two houses where I used to live so there was some reflection in that, going back to places where my mum had lived and died. It's like journeying through your past. It just felt like running through a film in a way. I was sort of cloaking myself in a film. I do like documentaries. There's one that plays in Britain called Coast where they go around the coast and you get these huge helicopter shots of waves and things and cliffs. And I love watching those.

GM: As I said, we're the same age. I take my son for a walk for 90 minutes and my hips hurt. I can't imagine doing that many marathons, let alone one.

EI: I think the thing on the pain of exercising is that you need to go through a barrier. Like, the first two weeks were pretty hellish and after that it got easier and easier. So I think if you go for an occasional thing, your body will go, 'Oh, this is an occasional thing! I can't do this!' But in fact your body is atrophying slowly and I think you actually have to do more going for walks and walks and walks and then the body won't complain so much because you'll get used to it. Or you'll get used to that little pain threshold or whatever it is. I think unless you want the last thirty years of your life to really just be sitting in a chair, you really have to think of being fit at 90.

GM: I hear you're training for a triathlon.

EI: No. I mean, I probably will do an Iron Man at some point but I'm just going to do more running and swimming. Running and swimming are the particular things that interest me.

GM: So you have been active since then. You didn't just shut down and not do a thing.

EI: No. I'll likely just run a marathon. I find that an interesting facility I now have where I can just go, 'Oh, I'll just run a marathon now.' And it's kind of against the rules because you should be training and eating something or other or whatever it is, but I've done a few of those and they're a little bit tough but I've done them so I quite like it. I just go, 'Oh, I'm going to go run a marathon.'

GM: Just for fun.

EI: Yeah. Well, to keep it... It's a long way, 26.2 miles, 42 kilometres. But you can look back. Like in Belfast, it was one time I could look back as I went up the final hill coming out of the western side of Belfast in Northern Ireland, and I could look back and I could see where I came from. I thought, 'Wow, that's miles!' Of course it's miles but you never really see it. You can see the 26 miles and I just thought that is staggering. But it's great. You feel like an athlete. You feel a different relationship with the land.

GM: Maybe I should get out and be more active. You're inspiring me.

EI: I think you should.

"Extremists are people I hate, but that's about it. But there's a good 90 percent of the world's population I think I could get on with, have a good chat with. Or 95 percent probably." – Eddie Izzard

GM: I interviewed Brian Regan a few weeks ago. You know him?

EI: I don't know if I do know Brian Regan.

GM: He's an American comic who does theatres throughout North America. Hasn't done Britain. Anyway, he was saying that when he reads more than three articles on him where they describe him a certain way, he purposely starts losing that and going into something else because he doesn't want to be the guy that always does... whatever it is they say about him. In a lot of the articles about you, they talk about your verbal trademarks and your train of thought. Does it ever become self-conscious since now you know that's what people expect from you?

EI: There are certain things I like. It is an interesting point. Like, if they say, 'He ad libs a lot,' that's fine because I like that. They used to say, 'Oh, your material's quite soft or gentle' and I didn't like those adjectives. And I knew what they meant. And people were trying to say it positively and the fact that I don't say, 'Oh, this person on the television, what are they doing? What fucking haircut have they got? Why are they going out with so-and-so?' Some people do all that kind of stand-up and I can't. That's just not my cup of tea. So I won't go on personality attacks. But I realize I should constantly choose heavier and heavier subjects to go into. I don't hate... I mean, I hate Nazis. Extremists are people I hate, but that's about it. But there's a good 90 percent of the world's population I think I could get on with, have a good chat with. Or 95 percent probably. So I've decided I don't think God exists. I was an agnostic. I think a lot of people are agnostics but they don't go to atheist just in case God does turn up and go, 'It was me all the time and now you can't come.' So I've decided, no, I'm fed up with this. I don't think there's anyone there. So I thought let's talk about it, let's look at it. I'm very interested in analyzing the truth about these wise men and wise women – more wise men unfortunately – down the ages who have been, like a Mohammed, like a Jesus, whose real name was Yeshua. These people, what did they do? They came along and said, 'Hey, let's adjust this religion that exists at the moment and let's update it.' And they were modernizers and they looked for better ways of doing things. And I find that fascinating. And the fact that we worship so many gods. And if there was one god, why the hell haven't they said, 'Can you stop worshipping all these different gods?' Even now, we've still got tons of gods. I think the Hindu faith has 200,000 gods. Just a truckload of gods. And if there's one real one, it should come down and just sort it all out. I'm happy for there to be a god but I've just decided there isn't. So that's like a heavier subject to go into. And that's what I should do. I should talk about that, about human politics, about where the world has come from. That's what I do. So I do adjust slightly from what people say. But hopefully just to try to up my game and make it better.

GM: I haven't heard this new chunk of yours about religion, but knowing your act from before I can imagine it's okay for those who do believe in God because you're probably coming at it from a personal perspective and logical perspective, you're not shoving anything down anyone's throat, going 'You idiots!'

EI: I'm sure some religious people will walk off and back off a bit, but the way I say it is I'm a spiritual atheist; I don't believe in God but I do believe in us. I believe in human beings. On a spiritual basis, I think we do get a connection. Is it a mystical connection? I'm not sure. God moves in mysterious ways and all that. I don't agree with that. I think that's a line that comes out to show that, you know, shit happens and why would a God allow an earthquake to happen to Haiti, who've had such a hell of a time. That must be random. I think random is out there and religions do not allow random to exist. They think it's all part of some sort of pattern. And that's what I disagree with. But I think a lot of religious people care about people. They're trying to help, they're trying to do some good charity work. Charity is built into all the major good religions. And that's a great thing. But if you radically, fundamentally what I consider misread these religions, then you start killing people because they're not agreeing in the faith and they're not worshipping the faith. They're infidels. And that has been done in the name of Judaism, in the name of Christianity, in the name of Islam. All of these misreadings. But a lot of people who stood up against Hitler were religious. Unfortunately not the pope.

GM: This is part of the show you'll be bringing to Vancouver?

EI: Yeah. It's God and Darwin and the Romans and Greeks, ancient Egyptians, and Moses and giraffes and tigers and everything in between.

GM: I know you're a big history buff. Do you have a favourite historical period or one where you go, 'I'd like to have lived then'?

EI: No, I don't, actually. I'd like to have lived now. I think if I go back, like if you took the Tudor period, you'd want to be a king or something because everything else seems pretty shit. There's no particular... I'd like to have had a chat with a few people.

GM: Like?

EI: Well, Richard the Lionheart. I don't think he's that interesting, actually, but he's a big hit in Britain, even if people didn't know it. Maybe just the name. He was a Beckham at his height of scoring goals and that kind of thing. He spoke very little English, he was hardly in Britain at all, and he sucked all the money out of the country to go and fight wars. He loved that. And we didn't care because he was bringing back 2-1 victories and stuff. So that was the gig with him. But I still find him curious just because I'm a military historian, I suppose.

GM: Do you have a favourite philosopher? I know that's an interest, too.

EI: Well, I am remiss in all the philosophers. I keep getting these audio books and things, Philosophy 101, you know, catch up on all of them, and I don't. I know their names because I learned the Python song but I don't know what they all really believed and when I get into it; sometimes it gets really turgid. So, again, I'd be happy to chat with them but if they got really long and boring I'd be like, 'I'm not listening to this.' And those people who talked about whether a thing is or is not, all that sort of how many angels can you get on the head of a pin, that stuff I hate. Practical philosophy is what I like. Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you. That's the one line I found that's in the Bible, it's the Golden Rule, and it's all you need. I've worked it out. I say this in the show: That's all you need for anyone to live a life. If we all did it, end of story, we'd all be fine.

GM: That even pre-dates the Bible. I think Plato and Socrates talked about it.

EI: Yeah, it could well be. It's just so bloody simple. I think generally most people do try and do that but you get pissed off and accidents happen or someone gets a grudge. And when it gets worse and worse... Like, if you take the Balkans war where somebody killed someone, and 'You killed someone so now I'm gonna go kill someone else' and it all escalates and escalates. Those killings escalate. But the do unto others as you would have others do unto you, the peaceful part of that is just great. It really works. And you don't need to go into a building, you don't need to make sacrificial offerings. Just treat people all right.

GM: You said you could get along with 90 or 95 percent of the population. And I know you do engage with hecklers. Does that become a problem for you because fans just want to have their chance to have you talk to them during a performance?

EI: Not really. As the rooms get bigger, you get less and less hecklers. Like in Madison Square Gardens I was standing up in front of 14,000 people and trying to heckle you in an aircraft hangar, they're never going to make it. I've got this massive PA system and they haven't. So I don't really get much heckling. If they did, I would beat them because I've had too much experience with hecklers. So hecklers don't really bother me.

GM: Even if they are trying to be supportive by shouting out, 'We love you, Eddie!'

EI: If they do, I just say, 'Well, I love me, too.'

GM: And it's usually just at a pause before a punchline. People can't stand a pause so they feel they have to fill it.

EI: They tend not to do that with me because I think that I've just done too many gigs. But I do know what you mean. But I don't tend to get that much. And if I did I'd say, 'For God's sake, just...' In Canada, unfortunately, I'm not yet playing arenas.

GM: I think you could.

EI: You see, I've only played Vancouver and Toronto and Montreal so I need to pick it up in all the other cities and get this all going. Next time I'll be back with a world tour.

GM: I know you don't do much stand-up on TV because you don't want to waste it. Are cellphone cameras the bane of your existence? People posting clips of you on-line?

EI: No, it doesn't really bother me. If the quality gets really good then that would be a bother, but no, I'm not that bothered. I don't want them to do it but I'm not going to chase my tail over it.

GM: To develop a new show, you can't just go on the road, can you? Do you go into smaller rooms?

EI: I tend to go into a theatre. I did the Union Square Theater in New York for a month. I just played 11 o'clock shows for four weeks and turned the material over that way.

GM: Do you go out of your way to stay on top of pop culture or do you just not care anymore?

EI: I think you do have to make an effort to do that. There's certain things that I didn't want to be in touch with before, like Dancing with the Stars, or who's doing that, I would keep vaguely in touch with that. But yeah, you can get totally disconnected and I don't want to do that so I do have to make more of an effort. But you try and make it stuff that you want to do: who's up and coming, who's doing interesting stuff. And the great thing about running is that youngsters are really into it so I'm interacting in a whole younger group.

Eddie Izzard Stripped

I interviewed Eddie Izzard a few weeks ago. He was in Toronto at the start of his cross-Canada tour. The last time we spoke was ten years ago. Both times he was an engaging interview, which is surprising because he does tons of press. But maybe that isn't so surprising. Professionals like him who spend hours and hours with the media answering the same questions over and over treat it like a job. But not a job they hate. They actually try to connect to the interviewer. Makes sense if your goal is to sell tickets. Give a lousy interview and who knows how the writer will interpret it in the story.

When we first spoke ten years ago, I wasn't what you'd call an Izzard fan. I saw his show, though, and quite liked it. Then he came through town a few years ago (I can't keep the names of the tours straight) and I really disliked him again. Then this time his show charmed me. So I'm hot and cold with him.

The feature story on him I wrote is at the Georgia Straight website and you can read it here. I decided not to mention anything about his clothing. (Izzard, as we all know, is a transvestite.) I just thought, why bother? It has nothing to do with his comedy and we all know about it anyway. A note I got from an editor suggested adding a reference to it. I told them that would have to be an editorial decision. I didn't really care all that much, but I explained my reasoning. And to their great credit, they left it out. Does it matter? Not really. But it's interesting noting that in all the preview pieces I read about his Canadian tour, all the writers asked him about it and dutifully reported that he'd be in "boy mode". Well, at the show on Friday, and from what I've read about other shows in Canada and the States, he wore jeans, T-shirt, jacket with tails, lipstick and eye shadow, red nail polish and pumps.

Cut to: Row 3 of the Queen Elizabeth Theatre. I'm sitting there scribbling notes in the dark. I do this with my notebook at or below my knees, with my left thumb moving down to guide the pen so I don't come back to a garbled mess. I don't look down when writing. No point since it's dark and I can't see anyway. The guy sitting to my right was writing on his iPhone, with his head down the whole time. I figured he was either blogging, tweeting or reviewing. When he finally stopped writing and looked up, it was 10 p.m. so I concluded he must have been on deadline with the dailies. Since the Province doesn't run on Saturdays, I therefore concluded he wrote for the Sun. I should have been a detective. I found a review there by music writer Graeme McRanor, who told us "he's not in drag for this one". Well, he wasn't wearing a dress, but I'd say he was definitely in "girl mode". Did he just read all the previews where Izzard said he was in boy mode and repeat it? And then he ended his review with, "Although, to be perfectly honest, he's sexier in heels." If he had lifted his nose from his electronic gadget once, he would have seen Izzard was in heels. Still, I give him full marks for writing a full review on deadline with his thumbs. I wouldn't want to do that.

My review is in and will be posted at straight.com no later than Tuesday. Once it's up, I'll link to it here. I'll also get the full transcript of the interview I did up on Comedy Couch sometime. There's also a Brian Regan one coming your way very soon.