Last Comic Standing: Week 7

Thursday already? I have been getting the Monday night Last Comic Standing blog up on Wednesdays, but I went to the premiere of Kooza, the latest Cirque du Soleil extravaganza, last night instead. Before we get into LCS, let me give you a little comedy anecdote regarding the Circus of the Sun.

Several years ago at the Just For Laughs festival I saw Christopher Titus do a new routine at a club. It was all family material. I forget the joke but the gist of one of the bits had to do with his child being born and falling out of his wife swinging by the umbilical cord. He referenced "Cirque de Soleil" and it got barely a laugh in the birthplace of the thing.

Did you catch the subtle error there? He said ‘de’ and pronounced it like the fourth letter of the alphabet. Probably it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference in the States, but I sensed the reason he didn’t get a bigger laugh was because of that minor error. Most people in the audience would probably speak French, and those that didn’t probably took enough French in school to know the difference between ‘du’ and ‘de’.

Or maybe the joke wasn’t that good. Who knows?

But a couple days later I found myself backstage at one of the big televised galas. Titus was on the bill. I had played in the artist vs industry basketball game previous to this and had spoken to him a bit there. So I felt comfortable offering my bit of lay advice to him and his wife in the greenroom. When his name was called by host Carl Reiner, off he went and proceeded to do that chunk of material. When he got to Cirque du Soleil reference, he nailed it. Huge laughs, applause break.

It’s the little things.

He and his wife made a beeline for me after his set and they were really appreciative. I felt like I had a hand in that applause break.

Oh, one other Cirque du Soleil note before I fire up the PVR. I was reading a review of last night’s spectacle and found out that the funny little impish clown was a guy I went to school with: Colin Heath. I was impressed. And no, I didn't go to clown college. This was junior and senior high.

Okay, here we go. Awesome, it’s only an hour this week. Just to recap, last week the general public was going to vote three of the final ten off the island. I thought it was a no-brainer. Three, in my eyes, were significantly weaker than the others: Felipe Esparza, Jonathan Thymius and Rachel Feinstein. I also realize the public is a ass [sic] so I suspect one or more of these three will stick around for another week. Let’s see.

***

Funny intro this week. The announcer says, “And now, the man who puts the obinson in Robinson: Craig Robinson!” Gotta love it.

The judges are back this week. I wonder why? I guess we’ll find out. But first, the results are in. They’re going with this unnecessary grouping thing again. Why not just read the seven names?

The first grouping is Roy Woods, Jr., Mike DeStefano, James Adomian, Myq Kaplan. Geez, I had all these guys advancing. Who knows how many they’ll choose, but if I were putting these guys in order, it would be: Adomian, Kaplan, Woods, DeStefano.

Mike DeStefano advances. No numbers are given, which just makes things suspicious, if you ask me. Who’s to say the producers didn’t just decide who to advance?

Roy Woods, Jr. also advances.

Myq Kaplan is still in the running.

That means James Adomian, who I thought had one of the best sets last week, is going home. Interesting that they go to a little highlight package and Adomian is doing the voice-over, talking about losing. So obviously they were told ahead of time. Unless everyone had to record a win speech and a lose speech.

And now those three get to perform. Starting with the Italian dude, Mike DeStefano. Someone’s been reading my blog! His inkwork is all covered up this week. He bought some expensive soap, but it doesn’t wash away shame. He had a rough childhood so he can’t express emotions beyond hunger. Nothing particularly good so far. But then he started talking about couples therapy and I thought it got a lot better. Here’s where his bravado works for his persona. He’s showing us he’s a sexist pig but in a way that puts himself down, so we can laugh at his character and laugh at his frustrations. One line I really liked that got absolutely no response from the crowd was when he was telling us what his ex-girlfriend was telling the counselor: “’I want us to be connected’... and then it sounded like a siren after that. That’s all I could hear.” Good line played to crickets. Overall: Decent.

Andy Kindler summed it up well. He said DeStefano is both frightening and loveable at the same time, like he has a heart of gold wrapped in a fist. He especially liked the “Does it clean shame?” line. I didn’t. But I could totally see Kindler doing a line like that and it working way better. Natasha Leggero did her siren impression before saying he was very funny and the set was excellent. Greg Giraldo’s beard is thicker. That’s all I noticed from him. He’s allergic to razors.

***

Roy Wood, Jr. is next up to perform. He’s talking about the World Cup soccer tourney and I’m thinking, ‘Has he done this before?’ But no, I don’t think he has. As a guy with no time for soccer, I was with him. I liked his line about how pissed we’d be if the Lakers lost to Al Qaeda. That’s how these soccer countries must feel when they lose to the American team. ... He claims he’s 31. I wonder how long he’s been saying that? He’s gotta be the oldest looking 31-year-old I’ve ever seen. But it’s a student loan chunk so maybe he has been doing the joke for a while. I liked his line: “I shouldn’t have to pay you for stuff I don’t remember.” ... Also had a great take on the civil rights fights. Funny and had a strong point. Overall: Good.

Natasha says he’s so likeable. Greg he was very funny. Andy loves his voice.

Next: Myq Kaplan makes fun of the “right” crowd, those annoying people who tag an approval-seeking question after each sentence, right? Yeah, like that. ... Ooh, he just hurt himself possibly during an applause break when he sarcastically said, “Thank you everybody... Thank you for wasting my time.” ... He likes to trumpet his own intelligence a little too much, which makes me think he’s less intellectual and more pseudo-intellectually pedantic. He was called gay by the jocks in high school because he spoke in complete sentences. But he got on a bit of a roll there and ended well. Overall: Pretty good.

Giraldo liked the way he handled the applause break, so there you go. He called Kaplan (and you can be sure this is going in his press kit), “A lot of funny in a little package.” Kindler got his opinion about audience voting in and, as always, made it funny. He said he wishes there wasn’t voting. “I believe in a comedy dictatorship.” I don’t quite agree. I’d prefer a comedy oligarchy, but we’re at least in the same ballpark. Kindler thought Kaplan was fantastic. Leggero said he doesn’t sell his jokes with his personality, but just with the strength of his material.

***

The next group of four consists of Rachel Feinstein, Tommy Johnagin, Felipe Esparza, and Laurie Kilmartin. Remember, I had both Feinstein and Esparza and gone. But if only one can go, I’d say Esparza. Let’s see how it plays out:

Oh, they’re just going with the loser. Laurie Kilmartin. Wow. Well, America voted for George W. Bush twice so these kinds of things happen in a system like that. Too bad. Oh, I see how TV works now. She recorded her goodbye montage after the announcement on stage. Because it really seemed like she was hearing it for the first time.

Back to the comedy. Or “comedy”. Rachel Feinstein’s cast of characters hits the stage. She was in Vegas recently and a guy was walking towards her. “You know when you can actually smell a douche?” Are we talking about the guy again or is this a new bit? I guess either way the answer is yes. She goes into her continuing audition for Saturday Night Live with a great voice of an old-timey Hollywood actress. But as for the material? Uh, not so much. Overall: Passable.

Kindler said she was fantastic and he’s amazed by the voices. Again, he singles out a line that I thought fizzled: “Even my breasts are concerned.” It’s an okay line but it didn’t fit with the characterization she was doing. Leggero said she has the perfect mix of writing and performance. Giraldo said she’s so great, so great.

Robinson, in giving out the voting methods, tells us to keep in mind we can only vote ten times per method. Say what? I haven’t voted and have no idea if Canadians are permitted to vote, but what happened to one person-one vote? Ten votes by phone, ten more by internet? That explains Bush, though.

***

Tommy Johnagin enters dressed to the nines. Or at least eights. He looks sharp anyway. Except for the large sweat stains under his pits. But at least he draws attention to them first. Nothing worse than seeing unaddressed sweat stains. I see that’s his M.O. in life. He’s an open book. He tells us that if you do something crazy in a relationship, tell everyone because eventually someone will out-crazy you and you’ll feel better about yourself... I like his fast-paced delivery. Good jokes well told. (There’s a blurb for the guy.) I’m laughing at his bit about his dumb mechanic, who waited three days before finding out the problem was the starter. “I don’t know anything about cars. But if it doesn’t move and it has a part called the mover, check it on day one next time.” Overall: Very good.

Natasha said it wasn’t her favourite set but everyone loved him. So far on the night, it’s my favourite set. He responded, “That wasn’t my favourite comment.” Giraldo practically stole my blurb! He said, “Great jokes well delivered.” What are the odds?! Kindler loved that he showed the sweat.

***

Felipe Esparza is next. He starts the exact same way as last time: “So how you guys doing tonight? Good? Alright”, said in rapid succession. Man, it’s like he’s performing in another language. This is two sets in a row where I have no idea what he’s talking about. He says he lives in a gated community: the windows are gated, the back door’s gated, the front door. Help me out here. I hate not getting jokes. Then he says, “The restaurant that’s parked in front of my house...” and he has to stop because he gets an applause break. Seriously! Am I being punked? Then he makes fun of someone for speaking in broken English. Hey, at least they have an excuse for not understanding them. His punchline was just as mysterious to me. And it keeps getting worse. He went to a haunted house in his neighbourhood that cost twenty bucks to get in, thirty bucks to get out. And worse. But he seems to be enjoying himself, as does the audience. Overall: Horrible.

Greg thought he had a killer set, but he was careful not to say anything too positive. Andy was more to the point: “The crowd loved you, which usually makes me want to go the other way.” He also says he can’t see how anyone wouldn’t love him. Natasha touched her breast and I’m out of my funk. And she had a great comment: “Your jokes are very easy but people loved them.”

***

The last group is between just two comdics: Jonathan Thymius and Moronzio Vance. This should be a no-brainer. Thymius has to be the one to go, don’t you think?

Holy shit! I don’t often swear in print, but I think it’s warranted. Vance had one of the best sets last week and Thymius wasted time and belched. But Vance is going home. That’s democracy for you. Thing is, I doubt Thymius has any more material.

Side note: Does Craig Robinson have some sort of Howie Mandel germ phobia? I don’t think he’s shaken anyone’s hand. Ever.

And now Thymius is back out to waste some more time. He’s on a roll, he says. He recently found out he’s not the devil. He read the tag on his underpants wrong. It said “satin”. He was home-schooled and went on a lot of field trips. Like to the liquor store. Hey, a good line! But the series of tags that followed weren’t up to its standards. He recently worked up the nerve to go to a massage parlour, but got a plausible, more realistic ending. He painted an ugly picture with his reference to getting older: he tea-bagged the toilet water. He ends with an impression and you just know it’s going to be anything but. He turns around, then turns back and says, “Were you in Brenda’s room?” The joke being that nobody knows who it is. He tells us it’s his friend Marty. But, to get too literal again, it doesn’t work unless his friend sounds exactly like him because he didn’t even alter his voice. But I submit it doesn’t work anyway. It’s just stupid. Overall: Mediocre.

Andy thought he was fantastic but doesn’t look like he means it. Natasha finds him silly, gross and weird. Greg thought he had a great set and his jokes couldn’t be delivered by anybody else. What I think he means is nobody would ever want to deliver those jokes.

Well, what will John and Jane Q. Public decide? Who knows? Robinson told us we’ll learn the results next week. I wish we’d see numbers instead of just the end result. I want to know just how badly out of step I am with the masses. Did they say how many would be voted off next week? I missed it and I’ve already deleted the episode.

I made my predictions last week and got all three wrong. I’ll put this week’s contestants in order of preference, from best to worst, based on their performances this week:

1. Tommy Johnagin
2. Roy Wood, Jr.
3. Myq Kaplan
4. Mike DeStefano
5. Rachel Feinstein
6. Jonathan Thymius
7. Felipe Esparza

But what do I know?

July 18: Clips and maybe a call from Lachlan Patterson

Tonight we're playing comedy clips for the hour. I'll play tracks from the likes of Steve Hofstetter, Jackie Kashian, Laurie Kilmartin, Robert Hawkins, Tom Segura, Paul F. Tompkins, Joan Rivers and a couple from Lachlan Patterson's new CD, Jokes to Make Love To. And we'll try to catch up with Lachlan, who may or may not call in from the island and tell us what's happening in his life since his move to L.A. For those in Vancouver who missed him at the Comedy Mix this weekend, he'll be back on Thursday to headline the Cabin Eatery on West 4th near Macdonald.

Last Comic Standing: Week 6

I don’t know why I keep putting off watching Last Comic Standing each week when I like the show. But I do. Maybe it just seems like a Wednesday night kinda show to me.

Let’s fire up the tubes and see what’s in store for us this week, see which unremarkable comic the producers put through this week and which original one loses. Or is it an audience vote this week? Either way, it spells doom. But maybe I shouldn’t be so damn cynical and just turn on the TV.

But first... I interviewed Doug Stanhope last week and asked him about the show. You’d expect him to hate it, right? Turns out he doesn’t. Not only that, but he feels responsible for the show even being on the air. Read on:

Guy MacPherson: You watching Last Comic Standing?
Doug Stanhope: Yes, I watch that religiously. I’ve seen a lot of guys I laugh at. I wonder if I’m getting soft because I’m laughing at a lot of these comics. I know a lot of them.

GM: They seem to be a little better this year.
DS: Yeah. Well, I mean, when you get Andy Kindler and Greg Giraldo... They had to do that consciously. There’s a lot of people I love. It’s a calculated move to get people that comics like involved in this. Not have Ant... When all of comedy is against Last Comic Standing, it’s going to hurt their credibility. So bringing in Andy Kindler had to be a calculated but brilliant business decision on their part.

GM: You watched last week, right?
DS: Yeah, yeah, I’ve been watching this season, yeah.

GM: I’m surprised with some of the final picks. It made me think that the judges are there to talk a little bit after each act, but nowhere does it say that they’re making the decision.
DS: No, that’s obvious. And it is calculated. No one that waits in line gets on the show or has a chance. That’s the shit that pisses you off. When they do the opening rounds and show people: “I’ve been here for four days waiting in line.” You don’t get on. People that are getting on... I did the presentation pilot for Last Comic Standing. I’m the fucking Himmler behind that whole stupid show.

GM: Really!
DS: 2500 bucks to live in a house for three days. A presentation pilot is a pilot that the production company makes to show the network, “This is what it’ll look like.” And the network decides whether to buy the show based on that. So, yeah, it was me and John Heffron and Jodie Maruska... There were five comics. It was just like a microcosm of what the show would be. So I feel somewhat responsible for it even being out there.

GM: Did it come close to you actually being on the show?
DS: They invited me on the show later on. I wanted to do it, the same reason I wanted to do Girls Gone Wild because it was some stupid thing I could go fuck with and not care, but it’s all gonna end up in how you look in editing. If I went and tried to just trash the thing, like it was some fucking bad bar mitzvah I was hired to perform at, they could edit you to look like the biggest asshole in the world. But everyone that gets on there, like Laurie Kilmartin this season, you know if there was odds on some offshore betting site, I could have made money telling you who’s going to go through on these rounds. Laurie Kilmartin did not wait in fucking line. She has more tenure than the judges on this fucking show. They’re all friends. It’s like if you knew that Randy Jackson and fucking Simon Cowell were life-long friends with the American Idol performer auditioning next, but they make it seem like they waited in line. No, she didn’t wait in line. She was invited, had a timeslot, came in, they knew ahead of time, they’re all friends. Yes, she’ll be moving forward.

GM: But I don’t think any of the ones who are there now waited in line, either.
DS: Not unless it was a goofball. They find the goofballs out in line, I’m sure. A guy walks in in a fucking bee suit with his fucking assless chaps or something, yeah, that guy waited in line! But the people that actually move forward, I’m sure 100 percent of them were invited.

There you go. Now on with the show.

Wow, Craig Robinson gets a standing O to start the show. Is that just fake TV nonsense or have these people really been watching and enjoying his hosting as I have?

There are ten finalists, four of whom I’ve liked so far. Of course, I’m just going by what they show us and any one of them could surprise me tonight.

First up is one that I like: Laurie Kilmartin. And not just because Stanhope is putting his money on her. I really liked her first time up, then last week she didn’t have as good a set, I didn’t think. But I’ve heard her on Marc Maron’s podcast and she was really funny so I’m biased. Oh, and look, she’s talking about what she talked about on Maron’s show: her breakup and how she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. What really galled her was that, in reading the other woman’s e-mails to Kilmartin’s boyfriend, this other woman was a horrible speller. I’m surprised the censors let her punchline get through. She wrote back to this woman in language she could understand: “Feck off you miserable batch.” I’ve mentioned before the similarities in content between her and Louis CK. And here’s another one: She talks about having no privacy on the toilet with her 3-year-old kid constantly around her. But I guess there’s only so much material to mine off toddlers.

Yup, it’s viewer-rated. God help us all. She’s got no chance now. It’s going to be some hyper emotive fast-talker whose act is like a shiny object to the dullards at home, you mark my words.

***

Next up is a guy that I haven’t liked at all so far, but I’m going to watch with an open mind. Felipe Esparza tells us before he gets up there, “Forget about Pedro, vote for Felipe.” I don’t know what that means. Who’s Pedro? Must be an American slogan we don’t get up here. Here’s his opening joke: “You ever go home after a night of partying and reflect on your life, lay there and think, ‘Damn, I haven’t done anything.’” And he gets laughs! What the hell?! Again, I have no idea what that even means. And the tag was just as bad. Something about his buddy and the buddy’s wife being in the top bunk. What it has to do with partying, I have no idea... Yeah, yeah, I get that he was reflecting on the fact he’s done nothing with his life, but why is that funny? And the payoff is that he at least isn’t married and sharing a room and bunk bed with someone. But really? That’s good enough for the finals? Good lord. And then a bit about sucking up to a cop on his first arrest that goes nowhere. This is really bad and reflects poorly on the show. And it doesn’t get better. There’s a lame joke about Mexico wanting to help out in Iraq but “they need a ride over there.” Gawdawful. But I did like his line about what he tells women when he takes off his shirt for the first time and she sees his stretch marks: “I was attacked by a mountain lion.” (By the way, I recently found out that a mountain lion is what they call a cougar in California. I always thought they were different animals.)

Felipe gets a one-person standing ovation.

Roy Wood, Jr. is here to go all the way. I thought he was rather pedestrian earlier in the show and was surprised he advanced. We’ll see. He talks about sports fans and getting punched in the face. One of his bits starts off with a false premise and I immediately turn off. He talks of somebody getting up in a sports bar saying that swimming is the number one sport in America. And I just refuse to believe anyone would say that. Not even Mark Spitz or Michael Phelps would say that. Now, it’s conceivable somebody really said that, but it sounds more just like an excuse for him to make some jokes about swimming. His bit about society needing failures (“somebody has to make the hamburgers”) is decent, even if I remember Brent Butt doing a similar bit years and years ago. But I only ever heard him doing it once so he might have been riffing. And Wood had a great line: “We need failures in America. They provide chicken nuggets and lap dances. Those are important services.” And an even better tag about where he gave this particular advice on career day.

Nice set by Wood. Not outstanding, but good.

***

Craig Robinson welcomes us back in a Santa outfit, saying he’s giving us the gift of laughter. I love this guy.

Maronzio Vance is next. I do not like the way he enters the stage. He’s lifting his hands trying to get the audience to be louder. Just be funny; that’ll do the trick. He asks the audience how they’re all doing, which brings me to a pet peeve. I can see a host asking that. But if you’re on a show with ten comics, and you hear the crowd response after someone before you asked the same question, remember it because they’re likely just as good as they were five minutes ago. Vance says he always wanted to be a super-hero but couldn’t afford it, listing off all the costs associated with fighting crime in a cape. So he needed to find a super-hero that’s economically friendly and decided he’d be Pay Attention Man. I really liked his set. Original material, cool delivery. He screwed up just a bit when he was spelling out a confirmation code, but it was negligible.

Rachel Feinstein was one I liked earlier. Her mom is aggressively white and getting sassy. She wants to be black. She does a lot of voices and does them well, but I’m not laughing. I think she should be on Saturday Night Live because she’s cute, got a big personality in her act and can do characters. And someone else can write her sketches.

***

Tommy Johnagin surprised me by getting through. He got a call from his mom today. Yes, I’m sure he did. But he made me laugh (yes, occasionally it happens) with his bit about his mom drumming up visitors for his grandmother. He also had a funny bit about an ugly stripper juxtaposed with the smoking ban. Not sure how much support he’ll get from women voters but it was a good set.

The funniest thing about Jonathan Thymius is his look. He takes his sweet time starting, and I suspect that’s because he doesn’t have all that much good material. His opening joke is about him confusing his life with Mike Brady’s. Stupid. He also paused because he thought he was getting a sign from God. Then he belched, saying, “I guess not.” That’s sure to win over America. He ends on a fake juggling routine that never happens. Let’s just pretend that set never happened.

***

James Adomian, the man of a thousand voices, is next. Not sure I like his new look with the hat and tie, but whatever. I don’t think it suits him. But he gets me laughing right out of the gate. He’s all worked up about Aesop. What’s not to love about that?! The moral of the story for Aesop, according to Adomian, is, “The negative critic sitting under the tree misses the big picture.” So true. So even this bit had a moral. And was delivered with ridiculous conviction. Then he goes into a Paul Giamatti impression. (Quick aside time: Did you know Paul Giamatti is the son of former baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti? Look it up.) But it’s an impression with a purpose, rather than a hey-look-at-me-I-can-do-an-obscure-impression impression. Well, maybe that was part of it, but it had context and was funny. Of course, it kinda sounds like Jackie Gleason, too. Will middle America even get the impression?

Mike DeStefano’s bravado is tiresome. He says the next set he’s doing is going to be perfect and that people are going down. You can’t help but hope he gets knocked down now. DeStefano is old but he’s hanging on to his youth, which explains why he wears a dress shirt but needs to roll up the sleeves so we can all see how cool and hip he is with the ink all over his forearms. Somewhat ironically, he starts by saying, “Have you ever noticed that the wrong people have self-esteem?” Um, yeah, I think I just did notice that. He does a line that could very well have been uttered by Rodney Dangerfield. It wasn’t, but it has the same old-school rhythm. Talking about a friend who told him he has women banging the door down, DeStefano told him, “Yeah, from the inside!” Ba-da-boom! Then he points out some African-Americans in the crowd and says, “Look at the black dudes. They love me, the black men. I feel like a chubby white girl sometimes.” He ended with a bit from his experience as a drug counselor that rang false to me and ended with weak wordplay: “You need rehab; you don’t need to redecorate.” Not a perfect set by a long shot, but it wasn’t bad. It’s just that my back was up because of all his smack talking.

***

Myq Kaplan starts with the same line he used in a previous episode: “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s have another round of applause when I’m done.” We see where he gets his love of words from. He talked about his pedantic English teacher grandmother who took all the fun out of everything. Then he did a chunk on vegan douchebags, of which he is one. He tells us vegetarians live, statistically, seven years longer than non-vegetarians and vegans up to 15 years longer. Well, he lost me right there because I immediately had to Google it, not being either. The first item I found was from a German study that said vegetarians may have a significantly lower risk of mortality than people who eat lots of meat. Read down four paragraphs, though, and they say, “However, entirely abstaining from meat consumption does not appear to be the healthiest nutritional lifestyle. Comparison of the three categories suggests that those who occasionally consume meat have an even lower risk of mortality than the other groups.” And then this from another link: “Also, there is no evidence to suggest that vegans live longer than omnivores. In fact all of the evidence indicates that a middle road is the best. For human beings the healthiest diet includes both meat and vegetable tissue. The best solution to good health is neither vegan nor carnivore. Nor is it traditional vegetarian, since it is the dairy products that cause many of our dietary products.”

I know, I know, it has nothing to do with the joke, which was decent. And I’m sure there are studies out there that say any number of things. But I’m a bit of a stickler for misinformation or false premises. If something makes me stop and think because it’s wrong or seems wrong, the comedian has lost me. They have the mic and can, through joke telling, impart knowledge even if that’s not the intent. I don’t think the response “lighten up, they’re just jokes” is good enough. It’s like if you find something that is intrinsically wrong or false in a Superman movie and you point it out, and you’re met with, “But you’re okay with the guy flying around in a cape?” It’s apples and oranges. I buy that he can fly, and I buy that they’re just jokes, but there must be an underlying truth. If Kaplan had simply said, “I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I read somewhere that vegans live 15 years longer on average”, I'd have thought nothing of it and it wouldn’t cause me to get lost in thought. I’d go with it.

I liked his street musician joke. It got a groan, for some strange reason. It was good. Didn’t like his closer about pointing at people, though.

So here’s how it’s going to work. All this voting will only get rid of three performers. Then next week the final seven will go at it again. That’s as far as they said. At least we’ll get to see if these people have enough good material to last a few weeks.

I didn’t vote, but will right now. The three that should go seem pretty obvious to me: Felipe Esparza, Jonathan Thymius and Rachel Feinstein.

I think Tommy Johnagin had the best set, followed closely by Maronzio Vance and James Adomian. Then Roy Wood, Jr. And finally Laurie Kilmartin, Myq Kaplan and Mike DeStefano.

You’re welcome, America. Of course, I’m positive my votes won’t jibe with the phoned-in ones.

July 11: Doug Stanhope & Neil Hamburger

I've got two of the greats on the show tonight. Separately, though. And on tape (or its digital equivalent). I spoke to Neil Hamburger on June 30 and Doug Stanhope on Friday. Each interview was conducted by phone and each is about 30 minutes long so that'll fill up the hour. Hamburger played the Biltmore yesterday. Unfortunately I was out of town so I missed the show but I'm sure it was a classic, just like the man himself. Stanhope will play The Bourbon on July 25. There's no way I'm missing that show.

The interviews were for print, which is a bit of a different animal. The exchange is slightly different and the types of questions are, too, for some reason. But I think you'll enjoy them. Now I just have to figure out which to play first. I think I'll lead with Stanhope and let Hamburger carry us out. Unless there's an outcry for the other way around in the comments section. I'm easy. And unpredictable. So you'll just have to tune in at 11 p.m. to find out.

Last Comic Standing: Week 5

If it’s Wednesday, this must be Last Comic Standing night (in my household). Who can be beholden to network television and watch when they want us to watch? I’m a slave to no corporation. Last Comic Standing is on when I says it’s on!

And it’s on. So let’s get started.

It’s the second group of semi-finalists. Probably the worst opening so far by Robinson, with the pay-off being a monkey in the control room. Oh well, at least it’s different. And Robinson’s genuinely hilarious.

1. Roy Wood, Jr. says, “Why not me?” Sure, why not? He’s fed up with wedding invitations and he’s not going to take it anymore. Hey, who isn’t? I'm glad someone finally spoke up. Then he rails against single friends. He’s got one who spends all day packing condoms. Only problem is the women are packing mace and a Taser. Zing! Nothing special here.

Andy Kindler loves listening to him. Natasha Leggero is talking about the response again. Greg Giraldo loves his character and POV. Me? He was unspectacular. Nothing to set him apart from anyone. Just a pro who gets the job done. That’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just a thing.

***

Robinson gets me back on his side with, “Actually, on Last Comic Standing, there are no losers; only un-winners.”

2. Ooh, a southern belle is next. Fortune Feimster is funny off-stage. Let’s see how she is on-stage. Her options, she says, were comedian, softball coach or UPS driver. You see, she’s a lesbian. And not of the lipstick variety. Oops, Fortune mentioned the homeless. Hate to hear what Reverend Kindler is going to say about this. I thought she was funny, but her more than her material.

But Kindler thought she was fantastic. Natasha says she not only says funny things, she says things funny. Giraldo reveals that not all comedians are funny (don’t I know it), but she genuinely is.

3. Jerry Rocha starts with some airplane jokes. But with a twist. He was on a flight with only ugly people and he felt they were going to die because it was God cleaning up mistakes. In the middle of one bit, he gets an applause break and pulls a Bobby Kelton, acknowledging the crowd by nodding and mouthing, “Thank you.”

Kindler said he had a solid set. Nathasha thought his impression of a black woman was a little easy. Giraldo opined that he was very funny.

***

4. Next up is Guy Torry, who says a lot of people know him from his roles in movies or TV rather than his stand-up. Coulda fooled me. I’ve never seen him in anything, but I have heard of him as a stand-up. Don’t know where, though. Coulda been a couple weeks ago on this very show. But he assures us he’s a funny cat. On stage, he says he’s tri-polar: the good, the bad and the ugly. He goes political, talking about Obama and Hilary and even manages a Monica Lewinsky joke because that shit’s timeless, am I right? Throughout, Giraldo looks perplexed. Then again, so do some audience members. And I can’t understand a few key phrases even with the benefit of instant replay thanks to the DVR. So that didn’t help.

Kindler wasn’t sure about the choice of topical material and wasn’t sure about the Clinton’s cock (caucus) joke. Torry shot back: “That’s because you didn’t vote for Barak.” Kindler responded, “Do I look like a Republican?” Let me asure you, dear reader, Kindler is the furthest thing from a Republican. And he’s extremely political. When I interviewed him back when Kerry was running, he couldn’t stop raving about the guy and how he was sure he was going to beat Bush. I have no doubt Kindler voted for Obama. Natasha thinks Torry’s really charismatic and “did really well with the audience” (argh!), but she thought his punchlines were nothing – and repeated three times, yet! Torry denied doing any such thing. Giraldo thinks he didn’t even do that well with the crowd. He knows he was capable of a better set. Wow, that was awkward.

5. Jacob Sirof says it’s pathetic that he made more money making pizza as a teenager than he has in comedy. He enters and says exactly what I just wrote about Torry's exchange, “Wow, that wasn’t awkward.” Good touch. Not a bad set. He looks and sounds funny. And had some funny lines, but not killer. Although, truth be told, I think I zoned out a bit. I could rewind but I don’t want to be here all night.

The judges all thought he was very funny. That’s about it from them.

***

6. Nikki Glaser thinks she has a shot at being the last comic standing. She has more experience than anyone, having been on the show before. She starts with a Skype joke that’s kinda easy. Then she does a teenage pregnancy joke that’s too similar to Sarah Silverman’s, minus the race angle. Then moves into an abortion joke, because middle America loves abortion. But her pro-life joke at the end was solid.

Kindler thought she did a solid job. Natasha likes her party girl mentality (I think she probably meant persona). No word from Giraldo.

7. Taylor Williamson is nerdy and low key. Right off the top he asks how much time he has left. Does a labradoodle joke that I was dreading but it had a nice payoff. Then talked about a camel with really tiny humps but with a great personality. He’s oddly endearing.

Andy thinks he’s hilarious and has a very strange mind. Natasha says the people love him and loves his character. Giraldo was really impressed.

***

8. Nick Cobb got dumped when he was stoned. And the process wasn’t that bad, considering his state, he thought. He springboarded it into a whole segment on being dumped. A lacklustre set, I’d say.

Kindler thinks he has a very original mind but it didn’t all hit for him. Natasha goes to the “How did you feel about your set?” line she tried last week. She likes him but she wasn’t responding to these jokes. Greg had higher expectations. So we’re in agreement.

9. Mike Vecchione wasn’t a very good Catholic: his confirmation name was Pontius Pilate. No, it wasn’t. But hey, times are tough all over, are they not? That’s a lame start. But then he does a Fight Club reference that inexplicably gets a chuckle from me and he picks things up to finish off. Kinda vanilla but decent.

Natasha says most boys that look like him aren’t that clever (because he looks like a meathead, I guess). Giraldo loved him, too.

***

10. Cristela Alonzo’s parents were so Mexican, they were piñatas. You see, because a piñata is extremely Mexican. But, oh, they were poor. (How poor were they?) They were so poor the expiration date on food is just a suggestion. Is this mic on?! Hello?! (Actually, the joke did well. I just don’t think it should have.)

Andy thought she was funnier than her material. That’s a polite way of putting it. Natasha asks again how she feels about her set. What difference does it make? Natasha thought it took too long to get to the punchlines. Giraldo agreed but thought she was very funny.

11. Kurt Metzger asks if we’ve been able to forgive Tiger Woods. He thinks we should forgive him. But then he trashes him, asking why did he have all those endorsements. A golfer should only endorse golf equipment and old people diapers. Love it. Then he weaves it into a Lady Gaga slam. So far, he’s my favourite. He’s got to get through to the next round.

Kindler thought it’s hard to do Tiger Woods material without being pedestrian, but Metzger was able to something really different with it. Giraldo called him a “funny, funny dude”.

12. Laurie Kilmartin got pregnant by accident when she was 41. I had no idea she was that age. What did she use for protection, you wonder? Her age. Good opening. She played the bad-mom card again, which is understandable because she no doubt has lots of material on how this kid has ruined her life (comedically speaking, anyway). I didn’t really dig the Russian guy joke, though, but it was okay. I didn’t hate it, either. But I do really like her presence.

Kindler enjoyed the whole set. Leggero thinks she’s amazing. Giraldo says she’s a “great, great, great joke writer.”

***

13. Tommy Johnagin did the semis in 2007 and doesn’t want to be a two-time loser. He’s a new uncle to a fat baby. Weak opening. He does some familiar stuff about how easy it is to be an accidental baby-maker, but if you want to build a shed, you’ve got to really want to make a shed. I didn’t mind his bit about kissing styles, but I think he might very well be a two-time loser. His material is okay but I don’t really like his stage presence.

Kindler loved the shed joke. Disappointing. Natasha thinks he’s not only really funny but he’s competitive, whatever that means. And Giraldo also raves about the making humans by accident bit, saying he’s never heard it before. If I heard it before from Johnagin, I apologize, but I swear I’ve heard it elsewhere. Anyone out there have any ideas where I might have heard it? Hmm, maybe the judges will advance him afterall.

***

14. Claudia Cogan is always told she looks young for her age to the point where she’s always being thrust in a van on the way home from school. Huh? But what do you expect? She’s a temp not a real comedian. And she does a bunch of temp jokes.

Kindler says she’s very funny but her set didn’t kill him. Natasha felt a little lost. Giraldo likes her tone and POV but the set didn’t really jump off the stage. Poor Claudia. Back to temping.

15. Maronzio Vance can’t understand why they do a credit check to get a job. His set didn’t do anything for me but I liked his serious delivery.

Andy thought he was really fantastic. Natasha says he’s grown on her. Greg says he’s such a great storyteller.

***

16. Jason Nash says if he doesn’t do well in the competition, he will have to get a job to support his two kids. He starts off with the old physical resemblance shtick. He is not k.d. lang, in case you wondered. Figured as much since he was introduced as Jason Nash. He also does the Laurie Kilmartin-cum-Louis CK thing whereby he complains about his innocent children. Then he teaches his 3-year-old about the subtle nuances of using the phrase “fuck it”, culminating with regret that he ever had the kid. Why is it so funny when CK did and does it, but not here? Probably because CK was original. Nobody was talking like that when Louis started calling his kids assholes. It’s forgiveable with Kilmartin because at least we hadn’t heard a mother dissing her offspring and trying to free herself from his clutches before. But Nash’s stuff commits the sin of not being funnier than the original. If the premise is taken, you better make it extra funny or give it some kind of twist. I didn’t hear that here.

Kindler thinks this kind of material is exactly what Nash needs to be doing. Leggero really loved his set. Giraldo said he has this weird energy that’s silly/happy but creepy/sad at the same time. He thought Nash was “really, really funny.”

17. James Adomian is no stranger to Vancouver, having played the festival here a couple times. He starts out with great energy and an original take on modern TV watching. Then he goes to his bread and butter: impressions. He does a Gary Busey voice that may or may not sound exactly like him. I have no idea. But good set. I liked it. Maybe my second favourite of the night.

Andy thought Adomian was “fantastic”. After Adomian responds in a Kindler voice, Robinson gets him to do a Jesse “The Body” Ventura impersonation that is bang-on. I know that one. Then Natasha gets him to do George W. Bush. But he’s more than just voices, Natasha says. His impressions always have a strong POV and a strong take and they’re original. Glad to hear because I hate it when people discount any impression as hack. I love a good impression but there’s got to be more to it than the voice. The material has got to be solid, too. But I won’t discount someone immediately because they’re doing a voice.

***

18. Carmen Lynch’s on-stage persona would be better if we didn’t hear her talking totally normally off-stage. On stage she drones on a la Myrna on The Odd Couple (or Laverne in Laverne & Shirley for all the kids in da house). She starts off talking about either how freakishly tall she is (despite looking an average size) or how freakishly small South American guys are. Either way I’m not buying it. But enough about that, her sister just had a baby. Babies are weird when they’re first born, aren’t they? Yeah, not so much. At least not so weird that we haven’t already heard and thought about all her talking points. Even her weak final punchline: “Stop being such a baby.” Kindler’s all over comics making fun of the homeless, but where is the judge to stand up to all the baby haters out there? (I have nothing against baby jokes, just so you know. But they are getting a bit tiresome now that it’s okay to do them. As B.B. King would tell you, the problem with doing jokes that are now “okay” to do, the thrill is gone.)

Kindler thought she has such a unique perspective and liked the baby punching himself in the face bit she did. I think he’s purposely picking out the stuff I think is lame and lauding it. But he thought a lot of her other stuff wasn’t quite developed enough. Giraldo thought she had an original POV (seriously, he said that), such an original style (seriously, he said that), such an original way of delivering stuff (seriously, isn’t that the same as style?) and he thought she was “hilarious”. Leggero applauded and said, “Great job, Carmen!”

19. Here’s sheckymag’s Brian McKim. Hard to tell if he was nervous because his stance is always stiff and his delivery deliberate. So I’ll go with no. Or at least no more nervous than anyone else. I liked the wording of his first joke’s punchline: “edible panties with portobello mushrooms”. Very specific. So much funnier than if he said, for example, “with fries”. Same idea, but comedy’s in the details. He had a pretty good set.

Kindler enjoyed his act, calling it “smooth sailing”. Leggero loves his delivery style. Okay, but she thought he sounded like he was from a screwball comedy. I don’t hear it, but okay. Giraldo loves his cadence and thought he had a good persona.

That’s it. There are your second round of semi-finalists.

***

Here we go again. They didn’t tell us how many would be advancing. Don’t they understand the basic rules of fake competition? You let the viewers know what’s going to happen so we can play along. They picked five last week so let’s assume they’re going to pick five this week, too.

I see 21 contestants standing on the stage and as you know we only saw 19 perform. Man, it would suck to be the two that went through the stress of performing and then not get a nanosecond of screen time.

Here are my picks, in no particular order: Fortune Feimster, Taylor Williamson, Mike Vecchione, Kurt Metzger, and James Adomian. Let’s see how they jibe with the professional judges.

Group one consists of Jacob Sirof, Claudia Cogan (I think), James Adomian, Guy Torry and Jerry Rocha. It would be nice if they identified them all once again for the average viewer who wouldn’t know any of them from the proverbial hole in the ground. Or even a real hole. And the one moving on is... James Adomian! He’s the only one I had from those five, too. I’m good.

Group two is made up of Carmen Lynch, Roy Wood, Jr., Jason Nash, and Kurt Metzger. Gotta be Metzger, right? Say what?! Roy Wood, Jr. is selected. That’s a shocker. He was generic at best. I’m flabbergasted.

Group three is Laurie Kilmartin, Cristela Alonzo, Fortune Feimster, and Nick Cobb. Wowza again! It’s Laurie Kilmartin. Although I’m not flabbergasted by this selection because she’s funny. I just thought her set tonight wasn’t the best.

Group four is Brian McKim, Tommy Johnagin, Nikki Glaser and Taylor Williamson. Jesus, it’s Tommy Johnagin. After starting out 1-for-1, I’m 0-for-the next three. (Glaser is extremely upset. She must have thought she was a shoe-in. Oh well, as I always say, competitions are a crap-shoot. Especially fake ones on television.)

Group five is Mike Vecchione and Maronzio Vance. Vance is hamming it up but he’s got no ch-- what? What the hell is going on? I thought I could trust these judges. Maronzio Vance advances. Go figure. All I can do is assume the three judges we see are only hired to offer immediate feedback after each set and they have nothing to do with the selection process. Afterall, it doesn’t say they select anyone, right? So they’re not technically lying.

So your five semi-finalists this week are James Adomian, Roy Wood, Jr., Laurie Kilmartin, Tommy Johnagin and Maronzio Vance. Add them to last week’s winners: Felipe Esparza, Jonathan Thymius, Rachel Feinstein, Mike DeStefano, and Myq Kaplan, and there are your ten finalists. Right now, out of all of them I like both Feinstein and Kilmartin. Even though I didn’t have her advancing from the semis, I know she’s good. But next week is next week. Unfortunately, the public votes next week so it becomes a popularity contest. And that just sucks. All bets are off.

Podcast episode 196ish: Irwin Barker tribute

This is the first episode of its kind on What's So Funny? and, it is hoped, the last. It's not fun mourning the loss of a friend and comedy icon. But I have to admit I liked putting the show together just because I got to go back over the two times Irwin Barker paid a visit to our little show, cull select segments and arrange them thematically. Barker knew so much about comedy and loved talking about it. Comedy nerds everywhere should love listening to his expertise in this tribute to the man. And we also touched on the disease that would eventually take his life on June 21, 2010, at the age of 58.

July 4: Todd Graham

Happy Sunday, everybody! And to our American readers, Happy USA Day (or whatever it's called)! Tonight on the old radio show we've got someone I've never met before and know very little about. His name is Todd Graham. But a little research shows I've got quite the coup! He's been a bit of a mysterious figure in short-filmdom the last 25 or so years. I first saw him (online about two weeks ago) as a stand-up comic. But he's better known as the "godfather of the video mash-up" for his creation of the first widely distributed mash-up, Apocalypse Pooh, an amalgamation of... well, I think that's fairly obvious. Take a look yourself. It's some impressive work. So we've got lots to talk about tonight. I'm looking forward to it.

Podcast episode 195ish: Dave Shumka

FYI: A couple weeks ago, Dave Shumka joined us at WSF? to talk about all things SPY related and his newfound fame in the USA. Well, he was much more modest than that, but the fact is he was recently whisked down to LA to co-host a marathon podcast extravaganza that featured the likes of celebrities Andy Richter and Edie McClurg. Yes, he's running in rarified air now. Listen here or download it at iTunes. Your call.

Last Comic Standing: Week 4

Why do I rope myself into these things? Oh well, I started blogging this season, so I suppose I should finish. Two hours this week? Ugh. Good thing I’m liking the show. Let’s get on with it...

Another great opening from Craig Robinson. He sits wearing an ascot stroking a cat like some kind of Bond villain. See, this is what a comedy-based reality show should be like, after all these years: funny. I bet executives are smacking their foreheads going, “Why didn’t we think of that before?”

This week it’s the semi-finals. How long does this season go? If it’s the semis already, will the finals be next week? And that’s that? Here’s hoping. Or will next week be the other semi-finals? Now I’m confused.

They’re in Hollywood. Introducing the judges. Good to see NBC is magnanimous enough to give Letterman as a credit for Andy Kindler. And is Greg Giraldo the new Don Johnson? How is it possible he always has five o’clock shadow? It’s national TV. Can’t he shave in his dressing room?

1. They get right to it. No dilly-dallying. Excellent. More stand-up comedy. First up is the wordy and nerdy Myq Kaplan. He has a decent opening line: “Thank you very much. Let’s have another round of applause when I’m done.” Okay, that’s chuckle worthy. But they edit in a shot of a woman laughing hysterically like it's the funniest thing she's ever heard in her life. Surely that reaction can’t be from that line, unless she’s hopped up on Ritalin. I like his message, though. He’s a smart guy and he doesn’t try to dumb it down for the masses. He’s pro-reading and makes fun of those who only will pick up a book if an actor’s face is on it. I can just see him doing PSA’s for NBC’s The More You Know segments. He also gets in some decent knocks at religion, considering this is prime time American television.

They’re going with comments from the judges after each act, I guess. Kindler raved, saying he can’t think of a better line in comedy than Kaplan’s “Brad Pitt is in this book.” Natasha Leggero was impressed that his subdued, intellectual comedy still killed in that theatre setting. (I think comics are often too afraid to be smart. Or rather they’re too afraid the audience will always be dumb. I say assume they’re smart until proven otherwise.) Giraldo wasn’t as constructive. He just called it a “great, great, great set.” And they say getting the bullet slot is tough. He did great. (Although it’s quite possible the editors are mixing up the order.)

***

2. Jamie Lee is next. She talks about her model roommate, who forces nutrition tips on her. Turns out her roomie is a hypocrite because she does cocaine. Way to get middle American right off the bat, Jamie! Next she talks about dating another comic. The jokes were mildly entertaining but none of them made any sense. Or at least they didn’t follow from the set-up. I’m going out on a limb and predicting she won’t make it through.

Kindler loved her style but said not all her jokes hit with him, but when they did “it was really, really great.” Leggero thought she had huge potential but worried that the crowd wasn’t responding. (Another pet peeve: how the crowd responds. Yeah, I know, a comic has to win over a crowd, but sometimes crowds are just bad. Sometimes they don't appreciate really good stand-ups and sometimes they like really simple, stupid stuff.) Giraldo thought it wasn’t the best set she could have done but he thought she was very funny and it was still a good set overall.

Now picture Ant in one of the judge’s chairs. He would have eviscerated her. These guys essentially told her the same thing, but framed it way more positively.

3. Mike DeStefano is showing off his numerous tatts, so that’s one strike against him in my books. He says he’s not here to make friends with anybody. That’s two strikes. Now he takes the stage. He goes into his Italian shtick, playing up the stereotypes. His grandmother would stab him with a knitting needle for not shoplifting. Bleh. But his tag was good: “You’re gonna end up in college.” Then a ridiculous joke about picking up a girl who tells him she’s bulimic. First of all, that’d never happen. The point of the joke is that he doesn’t know what it means, first figuring it’s a nationality, then a STD. Didn’t do anything for me. Let’s see what the judges say.

Kindler says he’s hilarious and he couldn’t criticise him on any level. He made him laugh from the beginning to the end, in the middle and afterwards. (Kindler is known to lambaste really popular comics. I hope one of these comics gets so huge they’re playing arenas and Kindler goes on one of his rants against them. Then we can roll the clip and see him fawning over them at this stage of their career.) Leggero is too concerned with the crowd. She remarks on the screamers in the audience for him. Who cares? Giraldo liked his material, point of view and character, calling his set "awesome".

***

4. Kyle Grooms is playing to the biggest crowd of his life. But he’s very relaxed and confident. Talks about being from Jersey and segues into other places. Like Detroit, where “you could buy a house for five dollars. Detroit doing so bad, Haiti’s throwing them a benefit concert.” He finished with a decent line about water theme parks, drawing the connection between them and countries that don’t even have enough water to drink.

Kindler zinged him, saying Kyle stole his opening line, “’Sup, LA?” He enjoyed the whole set but thought some of it was more cutting edge than the rest, and singled out the water theme park line. Natasha and Greg both thought he was "hilarious".

5. Shane Mauss started with some questionable material. Not that it wasn’t darkly funny, but maybe it was a bit too dark. He talked about a girl whose legs were cut off on an amusement park ride and his sympathy lay with the people waiting in line. He may have pulled it off, though. To complete his unlikability quotient, he then talked about being a thieving alcoholic.

Andy says, “Well, the crowd obviously loves dismemberment humour. As we all do.” He thought Mauss was "very, very funny". Leggero likes someone who’s comfortable with a groaning audience. And Giraldo thought he was "hilarious, hilarious".

***

6. Adrienne Iapalucci lives in her mom’s basement apartment but they haven’t spoken in months and used that as a springboard into mother-daughter humour and from there about her job as a nanny. The kids were so annoying, she couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be a pedophile. Great joke and unique perspective.

Kindler said there were a lot of disturbing things in her life that she’s turned into hilarious comedy. She deadpanned, “I would agree.” Giraldo also thought she was "hilarious", too, singling out a Mother’s Day joke she did as one of the best. Natasha wished she would have ended a little stronger. I thought her last joke was her best.

7. Felipe Esparza enters to a Dispicable Me promo at the bottom of the screen. Despicable them, indeed. Enough already. Esparza talked about riding the bus but there was nothing fresh or original there. In fact, his big punchline was a Star Wars analogy. Then he talked about how ugly he is. Not a particularly funny set from where I sat. Let’s see what the judges thought.

Kindler was diplomatic, saying there was a variance in the material but his stage presence was “really fantastic”. Natasha thought he was “so funny and everyone loves you”. Again, too worried about the crowd. Giraldo said he’s one of those guys who is just funny it doesn’t even matter what the jokes are, and his rhythms are good and he’s able to talk about his own life. Then he said he was "hilarious" and had a great set. Makes you wonder what was left out in the editing from his set.

***

Gotta love Craig Robinson. Welcoming us back, he says, “Yes, I’m hosting this thing. You’re welcome, America... Let’s get back to the hair-pulling.”

8. Jonathan Thymius saunters out, telling us some good news/bad news. The doctors had to remove a third of his stomach because of his enormous weight gain, but they let him eat it. I’d like the joke more if he established it was true, or at least convinced us of the fact. Otherwise it’s just a weak joke. Didn’t like his next joke just because it’s such an old structure: “My wife called me a scatterbrain. So I told her, ‘Listen, whatever-your-name-is.’” Yeah, there was more to it, but those types of jokes are common. The first one I remember is Drake Sather’s classic: “My girlfriend thinks I’m too nosy. At least that’s what she scribbled in her diary.” Pick a descriptive, then respond to it with a trait that’s common to the adjective used. Comedy-by-the-numbers. Finally, Thymius peels off his sock for some ventriloquism. He puts the sock on his hand then asks a question. The joke is that it’s his bare foot that talks. Okay, we weren’t expecting that, but who cares because it made no sense that he’d put the sock on his hand if it wasn't going to be the puppet. So thumbs down from me.

Kindler thinks he’s hilarious and loves his delivery. I think he’s half right. I do like the guy’s delivery. Leggero doesn’t tell us what she thinks. She just asks him how he thought he did. He didn’t answer. Giraldo also throws out the "hilarious" word. He also calls him an “absolute original” and thought the jokes were great, too. I should count how many times the judges use the word “hilarious”. Maybe next time. I’m not rewinding.

9. Lil’ Rel wants to prove to people that stand-up isn’t dead and it’s back in Lil’ Rel, baby. Uh, who thought stand-up was dead? He comes out and asks, “What’s going on, L.A? Make some noise.” You see, he needed noise to get into his funeral bit... Huh? Turns out he can make enough noise himself. He screamed his act. Granted, he was doing characters, but still. And I’d say his characterizations were good, but his act wasn’t. If stand-up were, indeed, dead, that set didn’t do anything to revive it. But I could see him acting in movies or sitcoms because he’s probably a funny guy. It’s just that stand-up isn’t his thang.

Kindler said the bit didn’t connect with him, but “I think you’re funny.” Natasha thought he took to long to get to his first laugh and Lil’ Rel said he plays urban rooms and likes to develop characters instead of going for quick and easy laughs. Giraldo, not surprisingly, thought he was “hilarious” with the characters and thought he was a great actor. I agree.

***

10. Jason Weems loves shopping at “these huge mega-stores to save money and have my prices rolled back.” Guess who’s not allowed to say Walmart on national TV? It started well, contrasting the greeters on your entry with the receipt check upon your exit, but that was his peak. He moved on to a remark a kid in his kindergarten class told him about being a monkey and there was no surprise to his punchline whatsoever. It’s exactly what we thought when he told us what the kid said.

Andy thought he was great and loved so much of what Jason did, saying he’s “really, really funny.” Natasha was having a hard time connecting and she’s met with boos from the crowd. She counters that comedy is a subjective art form. Yes! She noted that it was obvious the crowd liked him but she was just a little lost. Greg thought some of the jokes were better than the others but he said Weems’ best joke was the banana one. Huh? He thought that last whole chunk was “awesome and really, really funny and original.”

I’m just glad one of the judges finally was less than effusive. I mean, I’m glad there isn’t the one judge who’s the designated prick, but hearing “you’re hilarious” and “you’re really, really funny” over and over again isn’t exactly instructive. Because if everyone is hilariously funny, then nobody is. That is, they may all be funny, but how about some more specifics or constructive criticism. They don’t need to be jerks, just not so worried about giving their honest opinion in a respectful way.

11. Ryan Hamilton, he with the big mouth, opens with the standard, “I know you can tell by just looking at me...” line. Again, comedy-by-the-numbers. He finishes the line by saying he’s a big risk taker. Now why is that funny? Do risk takers have an identifiable look? Why not just go into the bit, saying he went skydiving? The whole set was telling the story of his tandem jump. He made it funnier than it was. Write out his act and there’s not much to it. But he’s a naturally funny-looking and funny-sounding guy and that goes a long way.

Kindler thought the set was great but up and down, making no reference to the skydiving. He said sometimes his attention wandered. Giraldo nailed it, saying he has a great advantage because people start laughing before he even says anything. Leggero liked his physicality but didn’t connect so much with the jokes, to groans from the crowd. But she thought he was very funny and very watchable. I’d agree completely.

***

12. Here comes the angry comic, Paula Bel. She goes political. Maybe she’s trying to forge a career as the female Lewis Black. The Obama stuff did nothing for me. Only when she got slightly personal did I think it worked. She said she’s not going to pray because the last time she went into a church she got married. Of course, if you analyze it, the joke doesn’t make sense because you don’t need to go into a church in order to pray. But I’ll cut her some slack. Her priest joke didn’t work, either. “What, are you going to pray to the priest?” Actually, I don’t think anyone prays to priests, but do go on. “These priests are running amok. Let’s start with the outfit, okay? It’s an old guy in a robe drinking wine all day. You gonna leave your kids with him?” Where to begin? I can forgive the robe (priests don’t wear robes) and drinking wine all day (they drink it as part of the service), but the last sentence makes no sense. Yes, she was going for the obvious priest-as-pedophile joke, but it was sloppy. “You gonna leave your kids with him?” Who leaves their kids with a priest? Makes it sound like he’s babysitting or running a daycare. She’s all attitude, not so much with the craft.

There were no real comments from the judges because she attacked them first. And that was her best work. I liked that. Giraldo did manage to say she was “very funny” at the end.

13. Jesse Joyce told us he was in a movie playing a comedian. He told a story about his 1990 Honda breaking down in a tunnel but he kind of lost me. How did he get back? Like Kindler a while back, I think I zoned out. That can’t be good. I think Joyce looks and sounds like a stand-up comic more than he is one.

Kindler said there were fewer jokes per minute due to the story nature of his set, but that was no criticism he wanted Joyce to know. Kindler thought he was “very funny”. Leggero thought he would have benefited from having a longer set because he was rushing, but she, too, thinks he’s funny. Giraldo thought he had a very solid set and was “very funny”.

***

14. Rachel Feinstein tells the camera she, too, tells stories and eschews the set-up/punchline style. Oh joy. But she comes out and immediately does a quality joke. She dated a guy with big hips. She doesn’t care if he’s a bit fat, but “don’t be voluptuous.” Then she imagines having sex with a soft, bearded theatre teacher. This is not storytelling so far. Maybe she’s not clear on the concept. I liked her grandmother impression, too. It was a good set.

Andy thought she was “fantastic” and “really funny” because she got funny material out of the subject matter without resorting to going blue. Natasha thought she was fun to watch, had great characters and great jokes, and it’s not often you get all of that in one package. She’s right. Greg thought she’s “hilarious.” (I think he’s winning the “hilarious” battle among the judges.)

15. Kirk Fox weaved an unbelievable tale of his upstairs neighbour, a 100-year-old woman with a .357 Magnun who says she has a hit out on her. I don’t mind absurd humour at all. But when it’s presented as truthful and it’s ridiculously untrue, it loses me. He had a good line about telling her nobody has a hit out on her (“God can’t even kill you”), but it was too late. But I do like his persona.

Mr. Kindler loved her energy and his approach. Then he said, “I love you!” Didn’t mention his material, though. Mr. Giraldo, get this, thought he was “hilarious, hilarious”, one-upping himself over everyone else he’s lauded. Ms. Leggero was too busy flirting with Fox to offer any comment.

***

16. Amanda Melson did a joke about juvenile diabetes that was different from Dave Shumka’s but same idea. I guess it was just a matter of time. We know she didn’t steal it, though, because Shumka’s got no stand-up presence online. And you know what they say about a bit: whoever does it on national TV first, wins.

Kindler’s thing is homelessness. He didn’t like her bit about homeless people but I didn’t think she was making fun of them at all. She was making fun of the ultra-hip company she worked for. Of course, maybe it was lost in the editing. Giraldo thought she had great jokes that were really well written, but he didn’t say she was hilarious so that must mean he hated her. Again, nothing from Leggero.

17. Chip Pope looks like a young Jm J. Bullock. And coincidentally he starts off saying office work is like game shows. Oh look, he’s gay, too. Maybe he’s Bullock’s son. Other than his literal take on coming out of the closet, he was enjoyable. Especially his summation of everything Paul Simon’s ever written.

Natasha thinks he’s “hilarious”. Greg thought he was just “great” and “very funny”. That’s gotta be a big blow to Chip when Giraldo can't even summon up one "hilarious". Kindler didn’t say how he felt.

***

18. Alycia Cooper cancelled her health insurance because they’re giving pap smears at the airport... Say what? What did I miss? Intrusive body searches? Is that it? Am I dense? I really like her delivery, but she didn’t get me until her joke telling cheating guys to at least cheat up, so much so that the girlfriend can’t even say anything, other than: “I let myself go. You warned me.” That was a good bit.

Giraldo mentioned the “cheating up” bit and another joke she did, but thought the others weren’t quite up to that standard. But he thought it was a good set. No comments from the others.

19. David Feldman and his hair plugs are next. He started slowly. I think his deliberate style had something to do with it. I liked his joke writing way more than his delivery. Tough call on this one.

Giraldo thinks Feldman’s jokes are brilliantly written, too. Kindler likes the fact the audience wasn’t with him, and he thought Feldman was “hilarious”. Natasha thinks he’s very dark, very funny, very original and his jokes are very quotable. I don’t disagree with any of those comments.

***

Decision time. Damn, I wish I knew how many advanced so I could make an informed prediction. Without knowing, I’ll list who I would vote for based on what we saw. These aren’t who I think they’ll vote for, just who I liked the best: Myq Kaplan, Kyle Grooms, Adrienne Iapalucci, Rachel Feinstein and Chip Pope would be my choices. Three on the fence are Ryan Hamilton, Alycia Cooper and David Feldman. Now let’s see what the real judges say:

On the stage at the end are 23 comics. I believe we only saw 19 of them. I wonder who didn’t make the cut and didn’t even get any airtime. Robinson says, “It’s time to find out who’s moving on to the next round and whose life is ruined forever.” This guy should host every reality show. I’d watch just for him.

What is this? They’re in groups? One from each group will move forward. Why can’t these rules be laid out ahead of time? Don’t they know us armchair judges want to play along at home?

Here’s another problem. They bring group one out but we don’t see them all. Probably because not all of them got camera time. But I’d like to know who the winner was up against. Out of this first group, the unremarkable Felipe Esparza advances. What’s the emoticon for shaking one’s head? Dare I suggest he was the only Hispanic in the group and the show aims to be inclusive? I know Alycia Cooper was in his group. She was on the fence for me, but Esparza wasn’t anywhere near the fence.

Group two consists of Paula Bel, David Feldman, Myq Kaplan and Kyle Grooms. I had two of those guys for sure but only one will make it. And it’s Myq Kaplan. Not a surprise. Of those, I thought he was the best. But this is just an odd way of doing things. Why are they up against only a few others instead of everybody else? I don’t like it.

Group three has Rachel Feinstein, Kirk Fox, Adrienne Iapalucci, Shane Mauss and Jason Weems, from what I can tell. One of the women should get it and, indeed, Rachel Feinstein advances.

Group four has Lil’ Rel, Ryan Hamilton, Mike DeStefano, Chip Pope and one of the women. Jamie Lee maybe? It’s been a long two hours. The one moving on is Mike DeStefano.

Group five has only two guys in it. What’s up with that? I hate this. If you’re going to have everyone in groups, why can’t we know as we go along who is competing against whom? The last two guys are Jonathan Thymius and Jesse Joyce, neither of whom I think are worthy of advancing. But Jonathan Thymius advances.

There are the first five finalists: Felipe Esparza, Myq Kaplan, Rachel Feinstein, Mike DeStefano and Jonathan Thymius. I like two of them.

So two more shows? I think I can handle that.